Sometimes I just want to give up....

May 1 seems so far away but at the same time so close. I look at the training plan and think "I can totally do this" then I get out and can barely run 3 miles and I think totally different. I am following the marathon rookie plan and just finished week 3. On Monday I had 3 miles on my agenda so I headed to the gym to get it done. My legs were so tight that I didn't think there was anyway I was going to finish. Then I did a spin class which went well so it boosted my confidence a little. On Wednesday I went for a lunch time 4 miler with my friend Suzy and I was SO slow! I couldn't get going, I felt like I was going to have to stop the whole time. I just wanted to cry. I can't understand how I can run 5 miles at a 10min mile pace one day then barely break 11min on 4 miles a few days later. It was such a blow to my self esteem I wanted to just stop. Then the weather was pretty crap Thursday and Friday that I didn't get my run in, so I went Saturday with a friend and we went 3 miles. It was nice for me just to go and not think about anything and just run but the pace was still slower than I had hoped.

Sunday was a big deal for me. I went to Lawrence to meet a friend to do a 6miler. I was very worried about slowing Jaime down because I was not feeling very well but I still went out and did it. She kept telling me to not worry about it but it is still hard to know that someone is going at your pace when they can go faster. I know that it is important to get the miles in I just hate that I can't seem to keep the pace I have been at. Oh well I guess I am just being a baby. I should probably just be happy that I ran 6 miles and not worry that I did it in over and hour. UGH this is so frustrating sometimes.

Changing things up a bit...

After lots of thinking I have changed the name and focus of my blog. I will still write about things going on with Matt and I but my main focus now is going to my journey to a half marathon and then a full one as well. I don't want to forget (although I doubt I would even if I didn't blog about it) about the highs and the lows of training. I think it is important to experience it all and I want to look back on this blog when I finish that 26.2 miles and see how far I have come. So stay tuned and get ready because it will be a long and bumpy ride :)

Valentine's Day...blah

I am not a big fan of Valentine's day...never really have been. It's not like I have had a bad experience or that I am not loved it's just that I don 't like that people use this one day to show someone they love them. I understand not ALL people do this but most of the time it is the case. Men spend a lot of money on flowers, chocolates, gifts, a fancy dinner and more today just to say I love you. Why not use that money throughout the year??? I guess I just don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing all the love that is involved in today I just don't understand why people can't be this way all the time.

Matt and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day...lucky him :) Truly it has nothing to do with me not liking love or gifts it is that we celebrate our love through out the year. He is wonderful at sending me flowers "just because", taking me on a date, letting me know that he loves me and he doesn't need a special day for that. I am not knocking or trying to bring down anyone that LOVES Valentine's Day this is just how I feel.

Although with all that said, I still take today and look at my relationship with Matt and I am so thankful he is my husband. Today more than ever I need him, I love him, and treasure him. With the roller coaster of emotions I have been on lately, he has always been my firm ground. When I broke down in tears last night and couldn't tell him why, he just held me and told me he loved me, and he supported me NO MATTER WHAT! He didn't even know that is what I needed to hear at that moment but it was. When I back off and shut down my heart to everyone else in my life, he stills pushes against the wall to knock it down. When I tell him he deserves better, he looks me in the eyes and tells me I am the best thing on this earth and he could not imagine his life without me, and he means it. When I am bitchy (which has been often lately), he just listens and still tells me he loves me. And when I am hurting and can't smile he knows just what to say to make me laugh. When times get hard he will do something that reminds me of why I love him so much. So even though I am not a big fan of today, I will take the time to let Matt know that he is everything to me, he is my best friend, my firm ground when it seems like I am on a constant roller coaster, my voice when I can't speak and so much more. I love you more today than ever and I look forward to many more years with you...with or without celebrating Valentine's Day.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship...

with RUNNING! I know it sounds crazy but I have found something I love to do and it all started with this race. So I started the Couch to 5K (C25K) back in december not knowing if I could complete it, but with 1 week to spare on the training I did it! The program is a 9 week program and I did my 5K on week 8. It was awesome! I have not had a chance to upload pictures yet, but will do that soon. Below is my day...

Groundhog 5/10K Run-Kansas City.

The weekend started out great. My wonderful friend Suzy picked me up and we headed to Kansas City. We made a stop at the Nike and Adidas store at the Legends Mall and to the surprise of Matt I didn't buy anything :) We headed to Russ and Jamie's house to pick up our packets and a few hours later were still there! It was great to meet both of them and hear their amazing weight loss stories. I am so happy to have 2 more friends to share memories with. We went to Suzy's friends' house for dinner and sleep time. Suzy was very excited and I kinda felt bad because I typically keep everything inside so I might have not seemed as nervous or excited as I actually was. We went to sleep after figuring out what to wear (yes we contemplated for about an hour what we would wear to the race, haha) and then it was a restless night of sleep. I was more nervous than I thought and kept having crazy dreams about going the wrong way and all that fun stuff.

Well 6am rolled around and I was up and ready to head to the tunnels...yes tunnels. The whole race was underground! We headed back to Russ and Jamie's house for breakfast and more race talk and then headed to the race. The closer we got the more nervous I was.

Once we were there we ran into Scott another member of Thunder Road Racing, which you should check out the blog, it's awesome! So anyways, I was beginning to get nervous but as usually I didn't show it. I don't know why I keep my excitement and nervousness inside but I do. Suzy and I headed to the starting line and it hit me, the excitement, the nervousness and the fear. I was so afraid I was going to let Suzy down, and myself down. Well we lined up, sang the national anthem (which gave me major goosebumps) and then we were off!

I had a time goal of under 30:00min. Getting out of the start was a little tricky trying to find some room to run, but I finally found my open spot and got my pace going. Mile 1 right on track with a little time to spare. It is heating up down in the tunnels especially since I was used to running outside in below 30 degrees! So mile 2 I slowed down a bit to try and make sure I had the energy to kick it in mile 3...well that didn't happen. My pace was not too much off my time but I had a little snag...we got to the last turn down towards the home stretch and the volunteer said we had a mile left, so I checked my watch...dang it I wasn't going to make my time! I was so discouraged and I hit a brick wall. Next thing I see is a girl puking and that just made my stomach turn...another brick wall. So anyways, I start to kick it in thinking I still have some time and then I look around the corner and there it was....the finish line! The girl told us wrong and I was so mad. Had I know it was only a half mile and not a mile I would have started speeding up then instead of coasting through. Oh well, lesson learned.

Final cross the finish line at 30:24! Dang you 24 seconds! I will get you next time. I am super happy with my time though. I ran the whole thing, non-stop and there is NO WAY I would have been able to do that 8 weeks ago. I was 52/179 in my age group. I can't thank Suzy enough for the inspiration and the ability to meet some wonderful new friends. I can't wait for the next races and to be apart of such a wonderful group of people!

Next up...St. Patty's Day 10K, Lincoln, NE half marathon, and Chicago Full marathon! And some small races in between. I love this new friendship I have made!!!

I knew I couldn't...

Well I told everyone I would blog every day for 30 days and well I made it 3 days!
Yep totally suck at this blogging thing. I guess I could start back on the 30 for 30 blog thing or I can just start blogging about whats going on in our lives...oh the decisions. I guess stayed tuned for an update...

Day Three...First Love...REALLY???

This one could go in so many directions for me, ugh! I have actually been thinking about what I was going to write on here for the last few days and it has kinda got me stressed out. Oh well guess I will just dive right in.

So when I first started thinking about this I was like, so my first love would have been in elementary school, and it was TJ Wickman. I know I know for those of you Midway folks but yes it was him....and then the week changed and there was someone new on the playground to chase :) So the first, chase me on the playground, write all over my notebook kinda of love was TJ.

Then jr high and high school came and I really didn't date anyone. I would like someone for a while and then we would start talking and then I was over it. Nothing lasted more than a few months until my crush was someone new. Looking back on it now, I hate the fact that I would do that. I just thought that the next guy would be the one that I would REALLY like and the one that I would want to spend more time with but it never happened. I was never content so I never really had a first love in high school.

Once college came I did meet someone and I did fall in love with him. He was my first love...or so I thought. The love I had for him was just on the surface, and didn't go much further than that. We rushed into a lot of things and because of that things ended in heart break. We did care a lot about each other and there was love there but now I see the difference.

Which brings us to now, my first and last love. My husband is the man that I can truly say is my first true love. He is the man that comforts me when I am sad, he laughs with me, cries with me, listens to me complain about stupid crap and more. The love I have for him is not even comparable to any other love I have had in my life and because of that I know that this is love. I know it might be cheesy for me to say he is my first true love but its how I feel. He has it all...I would chase him on the playground if we were kids, I would want him to be the guy I found in high school that stuck around after a few months, and he is the guy I found after college that I love on a much deeper level than I ever thought possible. Its the type of love that no matter what is going on in my life he is my rock, my comfort, my voice and more. That to me is my first love, the love that last no matter what, the type of love that makes me want to be a better person.

My First Love

Day 2...Blog Name

Well I am totally boring and just came up with The Schafer's...well because that is who we are. When I first began my blog it was "Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Schafer" but now it's just "The Schafer's". I have thought many times about changing the name but I can't seem to come up with anything creative! Maybe I should ask the hubby for suggestions because he can be pretty witty and come up with some great names...so stay tuned maybe for an update :)

On a side note there is something else I think I should talk about in this blog that will be happening in 2011 and no I don't mean babies...I will be running my first half marathon! I am super excited and ready for the challenge. It is 1 of the things I have put on my bucket list...which is very small at the time but I think a bucket list should be an ever revolving thing, right? So anyways, I am in "training" right now and have been doing pretty well so far. I will be sure to keep you updated on my progress!