Thursday, February 11, 2010

Real love

Since it is getting close to Valentine's Day I thought I would write about love: past, present and future.

Past love:
Some of you that read this may know but I have been married before. I got married a month after my 21st birthday. I thought I knew what I was doing and that our love would last and we would be able to work through anything. He was military and I thought I knew exactly what I was signing up for when we got married, but I was so wrong. He was a great guy just not the great guy for me. We slowly grew apart as we did not even spend much time together after we were married due to his career. I was lost, alone, and very depressed. I did not get married thinking it would end in divorce but it did. I was so ashamed because I knew what it did to my family, I was mad at myself for letting my marriage fail and more. I just knew there was something missing but I could never really figure it out until recently...I loved my previous husband but I do not think that I was IN love with him. He will make a great husband for someone else. With all that said now on to my next topic...present love.

Present Love:
I am 100% absolutely, completely in love with Matt. I have never felt this way before and I love it. I was so scared to let myself love someone again because I did not think I deserved it because I let my first marriage fail. Every day though I fall more in love with Matt than I was before. I know now what it truly means to love someone and to not want to live without them. I was upset all the time during my first marriage and now I can see why. It was not right! He was a great guy, yes but just not my great guy. Today I can say that I have the most amazing husband in the world. He constantly reminds me how much he loves me, and he doesn't just do things on special occasions. He treats me like a queen and I couldn't ask for a better man in my life. I don't like the fact that I have been divorced but I know I would never have been this happy if I would have stayed. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Matt and grow together as husband and wife. The future is so bright for us and our love can only continue to grow!

I just got back from Tampa and came home to a clean house and beautiful flowers. He makes me feel so special and he continually tells me that my past does not matter. I am still coming to terms with being able to find a man that loves me for me and for my past even if he does not agree with it. I love you so much Matt and I thank you for loving me and being the most amazing husband I could ever ask for. Everyday is our day to show each other we love each other. I don't need Valentine's Day to do that! I love you so much.

My beautiful flowers that were waiting for me when I got home from Tampa. Thank you Matt, you are the best!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Muddy pup

I think Scout found every mud puddle on our land this weekend. Still
love him, just not half his body covered in mud!!

February Already???

I just realized I have not posted anything in 2010!! Where has the time gone? The Schafer house has been busy getting back in to the swing of things after Christmas, so here is a little update.

Christmas 2009
Matt's parents and brother come down for almost a week over Christmas and we had a blast! Nick is living in Utah currently so we do not get to see him very often, and his parents are of course still in Kansas. The three of them were hoping for warm weather since they haven't seen the 50's in months! Luckily for them there were a few nice days. One day the boys went golfing but it was still a little too cold for me so Kerry and I went shopping in stead. That was a lot of fun but cut short because Kerry got sick. The next day was still fairly nice so we decided to go to Alpine Shooting range and shoot the sporting clays course. Kerry stayed back because she still wasn't feeling good. I had the best time! I have never shot a gun before much less every done sporting clays but it was so much fun. I got 26 out 100, which I think is good for my first time!
Me shooting! So fun.

New Years 2010
We went to Fort Worth with Eric and Lindsey and then met up with some more friends. It was a blast. The group of friends that we hang out with down here are so much fun. Matt and I were taking during the night because the 4 of us were the only ones not single in our group and I asked if he missed it, of course he said no and we talked about the way the guys acted and how he did not miss that or would ever give up what we have to be single again. That made me happy. I was also happy that I was not single and do not miss they days of drunk guys coming around trying to do whatever they are trying to do. It was funny to watch though.

We had a hard couple weeks in January. We had to go back to Kansas for a funeral. Matt's grandfather (his Mom's dad) passed away a few weeks ago and it was very hard on everyone. He is in a much better place, breathing on his own and sitting out by a lake fishing. I had a really hard time during all this because I had not been back to KS to see family since July. I had a lot of guilt in my heart for that and made it a point to make sure I see them more often.

Other than that we have been spending time with friends up here in Fort Worth. One night we went to Joe T Garcia's to eat with 4 other couples and had a blast. We went with Natalie and Travis Riley, Lindsey and Eric, Sarah and Trey and Jenn and Kurt Harwell and their little boy Russel. It was so fun to see Kurt and meet his wife. I have not seen him since high school, and to see him as a dad was amazing. It is crazy to think about all of us from high school growing up, getting married and becoming parents. It is a great time in all of our lives.
Lindsey, Me, Natalie, and Sarah at Joe T's. Jenn had already left.

I will be better at keeping up with this in the new year! Hope everyone is doing great.