Thursday, February 11, 2010

Real love

Since it is getting close to Valentine's Day I thought I would write about love: past, present and future.

Past love:
Some of you that read this may know but I have been married before. I got married a month after my 21st birthday. I thought I knew what I was doing and that our love would last and we would be able to work through anything. He was military and I thought I knew exactly what I was signing up for when we got married, but I was so wrong. He was a great guy just not the great guy for me. We slowly grew apart as we did not even spend much time together after we were married due to his career. I was lost, alone, and very depressed. I did not get married thinking it would end in divorce but it did. I was so ashamed because I knew what it did to my family, I was mad at myself for letting my marriage fail and more. I just knew there was something missing but I could never really figure it out until recently...I loved my previous husband but I do not think that I was IN love with him. He will make a great husband for someone else. With all that said now on to my next topic...present love.

Present Love:
I am 100% absolutely, completely in love with Matt. I have never felt this way before and I love it. I was so scared to let myself love someone again because I did not think I deserved it because I let my first marriage fail. Every day though I fall more in love with Matt than I was before. I know now what it truly means to love someone and to not want to live without them. I was upset all the time during my first marriage and now I can see why. It was not right! He was a great guy, yes but just not my great guy. Today I can say that I have the most amazing husband in the world. He constantly reminds me how much he loves me, and he doesn't just do things on special occasions. He treats me like a queen and I couldn't ask for a better man in my life. I don't like the fact that I have been divorced but I know I would never have been this happy if I would have stayed. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Matt and grow together as husband and wife. The future is so bright for us and our love can only continue to grow!

I just got back from Tampa and came home to a clean house and beautiful flowers. He makes me feel so special and he continually tells me that my past does not matter. I am still coming to terms with being able to find a man that loves me for me and for my past even if he does not agree with it. I love you so much Matt and I thank you for loving me and being the most amazing husband I could ever ask for. Everyday is our day to show each other we love each other. I don't need Valentine's Day to do that! I love you so much.

My beautiful flowers that were waiting for me when I got home from Tampa. Thank you Matt, you are the best!

1 comment:

Brandon and Kensie said...

SO happy for you, Rachel!! We're getting ready to celebrate 3 years of marriage and it's AWESOME!