Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Engagement Photos

Here are a few engagement photos. They were taken by Matt's cousin. She is not our photographer but she did a great job. We had fun getting the done. I will not put up too many, don't want to overwhelm anyone :)

I promise my eyes are open. I need to figure out how to wear my make-up where it doesn't look like my eyes are closed!
This is one of my favorite pictures. I love the way it looks in front of the Schafer stone.

Had to get the teams in the pictures! not my favorite of me but oh well.

Love this one also. Almost covered up his Wildcat on the front of his shirt with my Aggie ring hand :) I got in trouble for that one.

But we had fun and got some great pics out of it. We had a busy but fun weekend. I love the holidays but I am ready for them to be over, so that the traveling is over :)

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Well sometimes it seems like nothing can go right. It is Christmas time and I am trying to get into the spirit but I just can't. Student loans, credit cards and the rest of my bills are getting me down. I can't find the money for presents for my family and they say its ok but it still kills me knowing I can't give them anything. Starting a new job has been wonderful and I will soon be able to get back up on my feet, but the black hole I have been in is going to be a hard climb up. So needless to say without being able to get presents for family, pay bills, and put food on the table, I am a little down. So then I start to think about all that I don't have and then feel worse knowing that there are others out there with far less. What do I have to complain about? I have a job, I have some food, I have clothes, I have a family that loves me. I feel so selfish. I should just be happy with what I have and not complain about the small things.

I am in a very dark place and scared that I won't make it out any time soon. I want to be able to be happy, to be joyful, be thankful for what I have but all I ever seem to be is sad, jealous, upset or mad. I want to focus my life on the good things, not the bad. I want to live each day with joy, hope, love and more. I am struggling in my heart and I just don't know what to do about it. I feel so lost.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Wedding Dress...

I am so excited to say that I have a wedding dress! I tried on several last month and thought that I had found the one, but that was when we thought we were going to do a destination wedding. Since moving the wedding to KS and not Mexico I went and tried on dresses again and found the perfect dress! I am so excited about it, and feel great about finding it.

This weekend my sister and I are going to look at flower girl dress for Emma. I can't wait, I know she is going to look so cute! My sister will also be trying on bridesmaid dress. I can't wait to have these few things out of the way so that Matt and I can focus on catering, cake, and decorations. It seems like everything is falling into place.

Matt will finally be here in less than 2 weeks and I can not wait. It will be so great to be in the same state, same city, same place more than just on the weekends. We are going to be able to start our life together and I look forward to it more than anything right now. I hate being away from him, I hate fighting with him on the phone because we are both so frusturated about the distance. It is going to be so much better when he is finally here. I know marriage is not easy and that everyday is a new day but I can not wait to be his wife and take those one day at a time days with him.

Monday, December 1, 2008

So tired...

I got home about 1am this morning after fighting snow in KS for about an hour on my drive home. I like the snow but I hate driving in it, especially not knowing how my car is going to handle in it. But I made it home, safe and sound, but today I am very tired. Work is pretty slow so that is not helping at all.

This past week was great! I spent Thanksgiving with Matt's family and enjoyed ever minute of it. I had a little difficulty Thanksgiving morning after some news that I heard, but was able to still have a good day. I was able to talk with Kerry (Matt's mom) about what I found out and she made me feel better. It is good to have a mother-in-law I can talk to, when my mom is far away. But as most Thanksgivings go, I ate to much and now I need to diet!

So I am having a little issue I am trying to not let bother me, but I think it is. My soon to be father-in-law, who I adore, tends to butt into mine and Matt's conversations with something that is completely off the subject and only incluldes Matt. When I go to KS to visit Matt, sometimes I get very frusturated that all he seems to do is talk to his dad. I know that there is an unbreakable bond with him, but seriously I am only up there for a few days, and he sees him everyday! Why should I feel like I have to compete with his dad. I don't want this to be an issue, but I feel like it will. I know that when Matt is finally here in TX and we go for a visit together, he and his dad will need to have catching up time, but do I get left alone and in the dark? It also happens with his good friend. It is like I am not even there. I know that he is making a sacrfice to move away from his family and friends to move down with me, and he wants to spend as much time as possible with them before he moves, but I am getting hurt in the process while I am visiting him. And before anyone says anything, I have talked to him about it, and it seems like it is more his dad and friend doing it than he is, but he never says anything to them about it. I guess it is just something I am going to have to deal with. It is one small thing, on the large scale of life.

More weddings details to come soon....

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


I am so ready for a much needed break from work. I am leaving today and driving to KS to spend Thanksgiving with my future in-laws. Matt and I have a lot to do over the next few days for the wedding so there will not be a lot of resting. We are going to check the location out and get some decorating ideas, look over caterer information, and cake ideas. We will also be going to get our registries done, so that will be a fun time. Other than that, his mom and I will be looking at material to make my dress. She is amazing at this type of stuff and the dress that I want is very simple, yet elegant. It will be less expensive for her to make the dress than for me to buy it. Also Matt and I will be finalizing colors! He doesn't know all this yet, but will soon find out :)

The last big thing we will do this weekend is the guest list. We are trying to keep it under 200 people, which to me is still a lot of people. He has a pretty big family so that is where most of the number will be coming from. I am less stressed about all this, I have decided that whatever happens, happens. I don't want to be a bridezilla, or one that worries about the little things. I know it is going to be a great day because I am marrying the most amazing man! I could not be happier about that. With that mind set things have become easier for me.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Happy Birthday Lea!!

And Gig'em Ags! (even though the don't have a chance, I will still be rooting for them!)

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Lazy Sunday's

I have done absolutely nothing today, except watch movies on Oxygen. It was a much needed day to recoup and get ready for the Holiday season. I will be driving to KS on Wednesday to spend my first Thanksgiving with Matt's family. Then I will probably be headed to Utah to have Christmas with Matt's brother Nick. It will be hard not to be here for Christmas with it being so close to Emma's birthday, but we will be back a few days after so we can still spend time with my family. Holiday's a so difficult when you have to spread them among 2 families that live in 2 different states. I look forward to the day that Matt and I have our own house and can host one of the Holiday's there.

I think it is time to get off the couch and maybe do something today...or not~

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Planning a wedding....

Well we are in the middle of planning the wedding, and I spoke with my future mother-in-law today and she had some great ideas. She is actually going to be making my dress, which will cut down on the cost, since we are on a tight budget. I I know she will do a great job. I just need to start dieting and exercising :) I will be in KS over Thanksgiving so Matt and I will be trying to get a few things done, like guest list, registry, and decoration ideas. It will be a fun filled week, stressful, but rewarding.

This week for some reason I have been on edge. I don't know if it is because I am stressed about the wedding, stressed about money, or just tired of being away from Matt. It is very hard being away from him because he is the one person that keeps me grounded, level headed, and happy. I can't wait to be his wife, but the stress of planning this wedding is getting to me. I wish it was done and everything was ready to go. Right now I am trying to figure out colors, decorations and cake ideas. Kerry (my future mother-in-law) is going to call places around Lawrence for me to talk to them about cakes. She is being very helpful which is great. I just don't want to forget something :)

Thursday, November 20, 2008

My First post

So I thought it might be fun to start blogging, so we will see how it goes. I don't know if anyone really wants to know what I going on with me, but if you do here it goes.

Currently I am planning my wedding to a wonderful man. He is someone who keeps me grounded, keeps me laughing, and shows me more love than I could have ever asked for. Planning a wedding is pretty stressful but we are trying not let it brings us down or take our focus off the wonderful outcome. I am living in TX right now, but we are going to be getting married in KS so it has been hard to plan without being there so I can go talk with vendors, or go get ideas after work. Most of the planning is done over the weekend, or over the phone with Matt. He has been so great and been more involved than I would have ever thought. He is up in KS until December when he will finally move down here with me and he will start his career at Linebeck Construction.

I am starting on my guest list which is a little hard. People that I have not spoken to in months send me messages saying..."can't wait for the wedding," "I better get an invite," and things like that. What should I do? Do I send the invitations or not? I don't think they will come, but I also don't want to invite people that I have hardly spoken to. Advice??

We will be taking our engagement photos in January in KS so it is going to be cold! I am not really looking forward to that, but it is the only time we can do it. I hope they come out ok and don't show how cold we are!

That's all for now. Any advice about blogging from the experienced one's would be great.