A Trip to Galena, Illinois!

We took a quick trip to Galena, Illinois to celebrate Matt's uncle's 60th birthday.  I had never been to Galena and now I can't wait to go back.  The weather was great (pretty sure Linda ordered it especially for us!), food was wonderful and the company was even better.  The town of Galena is so neat with how it is built and the fun shops down main street.  I can not wait to go back and spend more time with everyone and do more exploring.

The birthday boy himself, Cal Schafer!

 All the boys in front of Cal's beauty.  Matt, Matt, Don, Pat, Cal and Neil

 These two are at the top of my favorite people's list!

 The Pinterest inspired collages Linda made.  The one on the right is made out of the old barn's wood and siding.

On Saturday night we went to this local place called the Log Cabin and I had the most wonderful steak I have ever had in my life!  I highly recommend this place if you find yourself in Galena.  It was actually the place where Cal and Linda had their first date and is a family favorite!

All 3 Schafer boys, Don, Cal and Pat.  Sometimes I wonder how they survived!

 The women that keep those boys together, or at least try.

 The whole gang of Schafers! We missed Matt and Meg!

 My favorite!

Bedroom Decorating

We have lived in our house for over a year and I have been trying to figure out what I was going to do on the wall above the headboard and have such a hard time trying to figure it out.  Well finally I was inspired by none other than Pinterest!  

This is what we started with...bare wall, so boring.

We went to Hobby Lobby and got what we needed and almost everything was half off!  I love those sales.  I got to painting and lining everything up and this is the finishes product.

We love it and it was so easy and inexpensive to do!

A Letter Of Strength

To my little Angel-

It has been said that you have 3 choices when bad things happen to you, you can let it define you, destroy you or strengthen you.  I have just about let your loss destroy me.  Your due date was tomorrow.  It would have been one of the happiest days of my life.  I looked forward to holding you, kissing you and just having you in my arms.  July 3 is not going to be the day I thought it would be.  Who knows, maybe you would have been early or late but either way you would have been here.

I have let my infertility "define" me.  I don't know why I feel like it should be labeled but it is.  Each month my heart breaks when I get that negative test.  It is hard.  I was so close to being a mom and I continue to long for that.

I let the loss of you almost destroy me.  Yes, I am heartbroken and there will always be a part of me that longs to hold you.  A part that wonders if you would have been a boy or a girl.  What color hair you would have or what color eyes.  I think about what your laugh would sound like.  What sports you would play and what your personality would be like.  I think about your fingers and toes and chubby cheeks that I am sure you would have, how I would love to kiss all over them.  There are days when your memory brings me to tears or sadness but then sometimes they are tears of joy.  I am joyful knowing that you are with our Heavenly Father watching over us.  I am hopeful knowing that I am able to get pregnant and that is something you gave me.  The hope that it can happen just not sure when.  When I hear about others having babies, or being pregnant I hurt.  I hurt in a selfish way asking "Why not me" and that is not a good trait to have.  I hurt because I miss you so much and I love you more than you may ever know.

Today, I am going to make a change.  It is time to start letting you strengthen me.  I will never let you go and will never stop thinking about you but I have to move forward.  I have to let joy come back in my life and think about my future with kids.  I don't know when that will be but I am hopeful that it will happen.  I have to find strength in my Faith and stop punishing God for my loss.  I am writing this to you so that you know I will always love you.  I will not stop thinking about you but it might be less often than normal.  I need to heal. I miss you still and always will.

When the time is right, watch over us and the growing brother or sister that we will have.  I love you more than you know.

Love-your mom.