I have had some time to reflect on my life the past few weeks and have realized a few things.
Friends are family and when you find great friends you need to keep them close. I would say that I was not a good friend in high school or college. I was unhappy with myself which turned into me being unhappy in life. I did not engage with people and I did not go out on the weekends with friends in high school and so I felt very alone even though I knew if I just picked up the phone I would have somewhere to go or someone to hang out with. I was very insecure in high school and now as I look back on things I lost a lot of great friendships. That is on me and something that I have to work on daily. I still have insecurities, I still have unhappy days, but I am working on not pushing my friends away. No matter what the distance is between friends if you pick up the phone it is like they are in the same room. Because of my past I did not stay close with people once I left an area. So once I left high school I left behind friends, when I left college I left behind friends and it stinks to look back on what I lost. If I would have just picked up the phone, or sent an email anything would have been better than nothing. I think I thought people were always judging me and the mistakes I made but I have realized that true friends are going to be there no matter what.