I have distanced myself from people in my life because their actions have continued to show me that me being a part of their lives doesn't mean that much to them. They can say it all they want but their actions speak volumes over them.
Some may say that I read into things too much or that I am overreacting and maybe on somethings I am and I will acknowledge that if they acknowledge the hurt. My memory will keep some of the little things they were there for but it will highlight the BIG things they missed. Those are the actions I will see replaying several times a month.
Some may say it's time to get over it and they may be right but now I have two little one's hearts to protect. I do not, nor will I ever portray my fears of being close to people onto my kids but I will also teach them the value of actions over words. I don't want my kids to ever have a doubt that they mean the world to me. I don't ever want them to doubt the love I have for them and the only way to keep this from happening is to back up my words with actions.
Reflecting on life can be hard. I have made mistakes, we all have but I am mature enough to acknowledge them. Will it change how I approach things, yes because I am guarding my heart and my kids but at the same time I am willing to give it a chance. I will always remember the hurt I felt on the big days where the lack of presence spoke volumes.
Remember to back up your words with actions. Love deeply no matter what.
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