The Cowboy Rides Away...

Never thought about those words until I heard them for the last time (or so I thought, more on that later).  I had one of the best nights of my life this past Saturday.  It was a bucket list item that I got to check off and it was A.MAZ.ING.  I saw George Strait in concert!  He has by far been my favorite singer EVER.  Not only does he have an amazing voice he is an amazing man.  He stays out of the drama that sounds other stars and just does what he does best...sings!

He has been singing for over 30 years!  That is a statement in itself of the music he has produced.  I can not even put into words what it meant to me to be at the concert.

Matt and I went with 2 of our good friends, Gabe and Karalie Gantz.  We went down to Kansas City on Saturday afternoon and headed to McFadden's which was across the street from the Sprint Center.  We wanted to get down there and relax and pretty much just make a day out of hanging out.  With recent events in our lives Matt and I felt we need some time to really unwind.  Our friends Annie and Tyler Wade joined for dinner and then we headed out to the concert.

Eric Church was the opening act and did an acoustic show and OMG it was fantastic.  We have seen Eric in concert before with all the lights, and fire, etc but for me this show was his best.  It was him and his guitar.  And let me know tell you that man is sexy up there with just his voice and that guitar!  :)

Then is was the King himself, George!  He is not a flashy person but he still puts on one of the best shows I have ever seen.  I mean, how could he not he is the King of Country!  I really could just listen to him sing all day long and he is not bad to look at either!  After the concert we went back to the hotel and while in my sadness of not seeing George Strait in concert again (although I completely understand that he is ready to retire) Matt surprised me with tickets to the Wichita, KS show!  Now I can't wait to see George again! What a great birthday present for me :)

5 Ways I am going to be a better person in 2014

So I have always thought that I am a good person, and I still think that I am but I have done some soul searching and realized a few things about me that don't make me that great of one.  I used the first few weeks of 2014 to really think about my life, the person that I think I am, and the person that other people seem to think I am and those 2 don't seem to match up and that doesn't make me very happy.  So I have decided that there are 5 ways for me to be a better person in 2014.

1.  Stop the negativity
Hunter wakes up every morning, after every nap with a smile on his face.  He LOVES life and I want to be like that.  I use to be like that!  Always with a smile on my face, laughing and enjoying life.  These days I feel like I hang my head, cry more than laugh and let a negative attitude control my day.  Not anymore!

I plan to be more positive in the way I live my life.  How will I do that you ask?  Simple, spend more time with positive thoughts.  Yes, that might seem hard for someone who has let her negative mind take over but we are talking baby steps here.  My plan is to each day wake up with a positive affirmation about my life.  It might be the same one over and over a few days but it is what I will be doing.  When negative thoughts come into my mind or I hear something negative I am going to do my best to brush it off and not let it affect me.  I do have a tendency to let things really get to me, that might be my over sensitive heart but I think it is time to not let others affect me so much.  I am the one in control of my life not those that think negatively about me.

I plan to try my best at stopping the negative talk.  This just infects everyone around me and I don't want to be someone that brings other people down.  If you are around me and hear me start talking negative give me swift kick in the rear...or at least remind me of being a better person.  The biggest part of this is watching how I speak about Matt to others.  People have gotten the wrong view of my husband and I might be at fault for that and that hurts me.  Matt is one of the sweetest, kindest, understand man I know.  He loves big!  Does he have faults, but don't we all.  He at least will own up to his and for that I am thankful because there are people in this world who don't.  My job as his wife is to lift him up not tear him down.  He would do anything for anyone in this world no matter the circumstances and I need to be more of an uplifting wife instead of the one that brings up the faults.  Believe me, I know that Matt is not out there talking to people about my faults because he is a better person than that :)

These 2 deserve a wife/mom that is full of joy and happiness.

2.  Laugh More
Laughing is the best medicine and if you don't think so, find a small child and tickle the daylights out of them and tell me their laugh is not infectious and makes your whole day better.  Hunter has a laugh that would light up the darkest room and the reason I know that is because in the last week when my heart was very dark with pain his laugh gave me peace, and hope, and my first laugh in days.  I have a pretty darn funny husband (although don't tell him I have admitted that) and he makes me laugh EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.  It is the best and even though I laugh every day with my family, I want to laugh more often.  It is contagious...just try it.

3.  Be a better friend
I let things get to me more than I should with my friends.  If I put something out there and no one responds it hurts my feelings (yes that is the over sensitive part of me) and that is not what good friends do.  Friends understand that life is busy and people can't do/afford everything.  I want to try and not let the little things get to me and be a better friend.  I want to be someone my friends feel like they can come to with anything and know that I will have an open heart and open arms anytime.  I have some people great friends, actual people should be jealous of me because of them and I want to be great for them, they deserve it.  So I will be there for them more, talk to them more about there life and LISTEN when they talk instead of saying something about my life.  I will try and talk it all in and just be with them because I love them all dearly and want to be there for them how they have been there for me.

4.  Play More
I am going to play more.  That is with Hunter, with Matt, with the animals, with anyone.  I will put down the phone, the ipad, the computer and play.  Hunter is thriving for my attention at night and I need to give that to him.  To be a better person in 2014 I need to be a better mom.  When it is not freakishly cold (yes, this is cold for a Texas girl) I want to be outside, exploring the bugs, chasing the dogs, getting as dirty as we possible can because that is what life is all about.  Have fun, being with the people I love and exploring new things.

5. Find my faith
Now this one may seem weird to some of you because you think, I thought she was a Christian?  I am, and I have a relationship with God but I want it to be deeper, more meaningful, etc.  How do I do this?  I am not sure.  I go to church on Sundays, I read the bible and I pray but I don't 'feel' it.  I can't seem to 'let go and let God'.  How will having this make me a better person in 2014?  I fell like everything above can be help with having Christ the center of my life.  To lose negativity I should feel my life with love, happiness and more and what more can I do that bring God into that?  Overall, being a better person for me can be summed up in being a better child of Christ.

So this is how I will be a better person in 2014.  How will you be a better person, wife, mother, friend, father, etc in 2014?

2013 Year in Review...better late than never

We are 9 days into 2014 and I have yet to review everything that happened last year!  Wow, time really does get away from us sometimes.  So here goes my year in review!

January-
We welcomed little Miss Chloe Madison Swanson into our family.  She is the cutest thing in the world and just adds so much joy to her Aunts heart.  Emma has adjusted to being a big sister and is one of the best I have seen.  She loves on Chloe, and helps her momma out with things and more.  It is fun to see them together and I was so excited to be able to be there with my sister.

February/March
Not a lot went on we were just trying to get everything together for the arrival of Hunter.  I was also diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes during March so that was fun to deal with for the last few weeks of pregnancy.  It was not as bad as I had imagined and am thankful the diagnosis kept Hunter and I healthy.

April-

Matt and I celebrated 4 years of marriage.  We have had some ups and some (many downs) during those 4 years but I am thankful for the man I married and the life we have created together.

Also, the big news is we welcomed our little man into our lives!  Hunter was born on April 26 and from that day my life has changed.  He has brought more joy and love to my life than I ever though possible.  Matt and I have realized what we can do on little sleep :)  Hunter lights up any room he enters and has a laugh that is so contagious.  I have loved every minute with him even if it's at 4am.

May/June
We spent most of our days learning to adjust to life as a family of 3 during the month of May.

June was a little more exciting.  Hunter got to meet his great aunts, great uncles, and some cousins

at the Schafer Family reunion.  He finally got to meet his Uncle Nick as well.  He is excited to meet his Aunt Elora sometime as she was not able to make the trip.

Also, our dear friends Gabe and Karlie were married in June.  It was a beautiful wedding with even more beautiful people involved.  We are so happy for the 2 of them and blessed to have them in our lives.

July-
Hunter made his first plane trip down to Texas to meet his PaPa, Aunts Lea and JoJo, Uncles Chris and Jason, and Cousins Emma, Chloe, and Faith.  He was not able to meet Matthew and Haylea on this trip.  He did get to meet some new people, Jennifer, Samantha, Trace and Brody.  It was so fun seeing all of the interact.

We took a trip to Herkimer, KS which I have been told is the best place on earth for the wedding of some other dear friends Dan and Kari.  We had a great time celebrating their marriage as well.  And Herkimer ain't too bad of a place :)

August/September/October
These months pretty much flew by.  In August we added a beautiful little girl to our group of friends, Miss Ellie Wade.  She was perfect from the beginning and I am pretty sure that Hunter and his buddy Jaceigh are going to corrupt little sweet Ellie.  It is going to be fun watching these little guys all grow up together.

October was Hunter's first Halloween and even though he didn't 'Trick or Treat' he still dressed up.

November/December
Again these months flew by with a lot of 'first'.  Hunter's first Thanksgiving and first Christmas.  Christmas we were really good and did not go overboard because as fun as the first Christmas is, we didn't want to waste a lot of money on stuff he had no interest in.  Now next year will be a different story.  Hunter's favorite part of Christmas was taking the ribbon off the tree EVERY TIME I PUT IT ON THERE.  He thought it was the best game ever!

So that was 2013.  I am hoping to be a better blogger this year so that I can really remember all that happened in the last year because my memory is TERRIBLE.  If I missed something that you were apart of last year I am sorry, my brain can't remember much these days.

There are so many more fun things that went on last year but this just sums it up a little.  Best wishes to all in 2014!

I have an 8 month old...WHAAATTT??

Yes, I can't believe it that we have an 8 month old.  The time has flown by.  Before I know it I will be working on his first birthday party...that reminds me I need to get on Pinterest later :)

*disclaimer-he is still sick so I only got a few shots before he was done.

So Hunter turned 8 months on December 26 but with us traveling to Texas for Christmas, an unfortunate loss, and Hunter having his first ear infection I am just now getting to this post.  Life really does not go your way sometimes and before you know it it's a new year!

A few things about Hunter in month 8

"Hey what's back here?"

• 20lbs!  Yes, this is off the bathroom scale I still can't believe it.  Chloe, his cousin who is 4 months old doesn't even weigh near that.  Hunterman just doesn't miss a meal.
• LOVES his bath time still.  He got new toys for Christmas and has so much fun playing with them.  Although his favorite thing to do is splash water EVERYWHERE!
• Wearing 6-9 month clothes but mostly 9 months.
• Eating more solid food.  He LOVES pancakes! (just like his momma)
• Says 'dadda', 'momma', and sometimes he will try his name
• Loves to feed the dogs from his chair.  He doesn't throw the food on the floor he actually leans over to them and gives them the food from his hand
• Thinks sneezes are funny
• Was sleeping through the night but with being sick and a little growth spurt we are getting up once a night
• Has 1 tooth just about to poke through.  We can see the whole and feel the tooth but it is not quite up yet
• Has had his first ear infection.  I am thankful it took this long!
• Still not a very good napper
• Standing for a few seconds on his own.  Will walk with assistance.

Hunter is changing so much and I am loving every minute of watching him change.  He has brought so much joy to Matt and I!  We love him more than we can put into words.

 "Mom, I am done.  One more smile and that is it."

A Letter to My Little Nugget

To My Sweet Little Nugget-

I never thought this would be the blog I would write about you, or that it would be done on the first day of 2014 but sometimes things just don't go your way.  I miss you more than you will ever know.  When I found out that I was pregnant with you I was so excited but a little shock at the same time.  I never thought it would be that easy for your dad and I to get pregnant again.  We had prayed and prayed for you and were so excited you were going to be in our lives.  Hunter was going to be a big brother and he would have been one of the best.  I thought about all the things we would start to do with our family of 4 this year and would get so excited.  You were going to complete us but it looks like God has different plans for you.  We trust in His plan and as heartbroken as we are we know that you are going to be well taken care of.  I hope that you have found your other brother or sister and that y'all are watching over us as I write this.  Hunter is lucky to have 2 guardian angels watching over him now.

You and I only spent a short 10 weeks together but I would not have traded them for anything.  My heart aches and hurts that we lost you but I find comfort that you are safe in the arms of our heavenly Father.  Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life when the doctor told me that you were not going to make it.  That is the hardest thing for any mother to hear.  To be honest, I hate hearing those words and I am angry but not at you.  This is not your fault.  I love you more than you will ever know and I will miss you everyday of the rest of my life but I am sad and angry that you are not going to be with us.

I love you and I miss you more everyday.  Sometimes I think this is just a really bad dream but then reality hits me and I realize it's not.  I hope that you never think that I don't love you or that I blame you when I get upset because that is not the case.  You are my angel baby and I hope that you are having fun with my other angel baby.

Love,
Your Mom