Wednesday, January 1, 2014

A Letter to My Little Nugget

To My Sweet Little Nugget-

I never thought this would be the blog I would write about you, or that it would be done on the first day of 2014 but sometimes things just don't go your way.  I miss you more than you will ever know.  When I found out that I was pregnant with you I was so excited but a little shock at the same time.  I never thought it would be that easy for your dad and I to get pregnant again.  We had prayed and prayed for you and were so excited you were going to be in our lives.  Hunter was going to be a big brother and he would have been one of the best.  I thought about all the things we would start to do with our family of 4 this year and would get so excited.  You were going to complete us but it looks like God has different plans for you.  We trust in His plan and as heartbroken as we are we know that you are going to be well taken care of.  I hope that you have found your other brother or sister and that y'all are watching over us as I write this.  Hunter is lucky to have 2 guardian angels watching over him now.

You and I only spent a short 10 weeks together but I would not have traded them for anything.  My heart aches and hurts that we lost you but I find comfort that you are safe in the arms of our heavenly Father.  Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life when the doctor told me that you were not going to make it.  That is the hardest thing for any mother to hear.  To be honest, I hate hearing those words and I am angry but not at you.  This is not your fault.  I love you more than you will ever know and I will miss you everyday of the rest of my life but I am sad and angry that you are not going to be with us.

I love you and I miss you more everyday.  Sometimes I think this is just a really bad dream but then reality hits me and I realize it's not.  I hope that you never think that I don't love you or that I blame you when I get upset because that is not the case.  You are my angel baby and I hope that you are having fun with my other angel baby.

Your Mom

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