A Change of Heart...Not Body

This morning I read something that really hit home for me.  It was 17 Things Boys Need from their Moms.  It really got me thinking about Hunter and what my negativity can be doing in his life.  He might only be 7 months old but he is still being influenced daily by my actions.  Wow, can you say a dagger to the heart.  I want to bring positive influence to Hunter not negative.  So with that I am going to make some changes.

1.  Negative Self Image

• I am one of my own worst enemies.  I am not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough, skinny enough...etc.  This is a struggle I have had for many years and it needs to stop.  I need to stop thinking about changing my body and instead changing my heart.  It is not what is on the outside that will be what Hunter remembers when I am gone it is what is on the inside.  To him I am the most beautiful person he knows and it should stay that way but it won't if he continuously hears me says negative things about myself.
• On the other side of things if he hears me says I am not skinny enough or strong enough, etc he will start to compare himself in the mirror also.  This is just not a problem for girls, boys have body images also.  I want him to know that he perfect the way he is.  

2. Respect for Matt

• I am not always the best wife that Matt deserves and that is on me.  I don't take compliments (see #1) and when Matt says nice things about me I shrug them off.  This is sending a message to Hunter that women don't want to hear nice things and stuff like that does not matter.  If I listen and am more thankful for those compliments it will teach Hunter that a nice word can go a long way.
• I am quick to anger with Matt and as Hunter grows up this is something he will see.  He should not believe that that is what marriage is about.  He should know it's about friendship, respect, love, laughter and more.  I need and want him to see me respect his dad so that in turn he will also.

3. Negative talk

• This is something I have struggled with also.  I tend to see the negative things in life such as not having enough money, not having the best clothes, or shoes, or being able to take this trip or that trip when in reality those are just things. I have a roof over my head, clothes to keep me warm, food on the table and more.  It is important that I see everyday the blessings that I have and that I teach Hunter what is more important in life than things.

There are some other things I know I need to work on but these 3 really come to mind the most.  I want to be a mom that my son can look at and say "She is great.  She taught me to see the joy in everything, to live life to the fullest, and to respect men and women both."  I don't want him to look back on his childhood and only see and hear negativity in our home.  It is time for a change, and it's not with my body it's with my heart.  It is going to be a hard journey but in the end Hunter is worth it.

7 MONTHS

Oh dear...I have a 7 month old!  I just can't believe that Hunter is already 7 months.  I really wish that time would slow down.  I am having 'mommy regret' bad lately.  I want time to stand still so that I can soak up every moment with him.  When he frustrates me I get upset with him and then immediately regret it.  He is in the 'let's push the limits' stage, or what the doctor calls 'exploration'.  I really think he just likes to see how far he can push things before mommy reacts.  And I will be dealing with this for the next 18 years of my life!

A little view of what it is like to try and take a picture of a very mobile 7 month old!

Some things Hunter has been up to the last month

• He is crawling EVERYWHERE
• He pulls up on EVERYTHING
• Locates the dog & cat water bowl like it has a magnetic pull for him
• Has moved to a big boy car seat :(
• Says 'dada' to almost everything
• Stills LOVES bath time
• HATES his jacket
• Wearing 6-9 month clothes...mostly 9 months :)
• Handles about 7 hrs in the car and then is OVER IT

Kisses to Chloe-she is not impressed

These cousins make my heart smile

We spent Thanksgiving with my family in Waco and Hunter loved being around his cousins.  He is about 5lbs heavier than his cousin Chloe who is 3 months old!  Let's just say my little guy doesn't miss a meal.  We had a great time with my family and I am thankful to have had Hunter with us this year.

 Learning how to ride a horse from his favorite Baylor Bandwagon Fan :) (AKA his favorite T-Rye)

While in Waco we were able to visit with Natalie and Travis.  They are always a blessing to see and I am so thankful for their friendship and their continued prayers for our family.  We love to joke with them about Travis being a bandwagon Baylor fan and are lucky that they easily take jokes. :)  We love seeing them and even Jim and Susan got to meet Hunter!

It has been a whirlwind Holiday season and it is just beginning.  

A Leap Of Faith

I took a leap or more like a jump of faith yesterday and I have not been able to keep a smile off my face about it!  I hope and pray that it works out the way that I am wanting but I also know and believe that God has a plan for everything.  Even though I am feeling a real sense of calmness over this leap I also know I have to make sure I am listening to Him also.

I won't be going into much detail for now about it but here is a glimpse into what might possibly be the scariest thing I have done...

Taking a leap of faith is scary because there is so much unknown about it, but I confident that God will not let me fall and crash and burn.  I have been standing on this ledge for a few years now and it is time to jump...so I did :)

Happy Friday everyone!

PS-This picture was a year ago today!  How times have changed :)

Halloween and Pumpkin Patch

So this is a little late but we had such a fun October.  Hunter turned 6 months!  I just can't believe it.  We went to the pumpkin patch and he had is first Halloween!  He was not a huge fan of dressing up but he was a champ all night.  We did not take him Trick or Treating because 1)he can't eat candy 2)I don't need the candy 3)passing out candy is way more fun.

We passed out candy with family in Perry like we have the past few years.  It is fun to get together with them, see all the kids, and just relax.  Here are a few pictures from Halloween and Hunter's first pumpkin patch.

 Our little family of 3

 One proud Grandpa

 Grandma and Grandpa

Love this little guy

Raar!  Dino Hunter

The cutest dinosaur with his little favorite gnome

Happy half birthday Hunter!

My little guy is 6 months old! It is crazy to think how much our lives have changed in the last six months but it has been so awesome! We go to the doctor for his check up tomorrow so I don't have any stats but will update when I do. So until then here are some pictures and a little on what he is doing these days.



-eating solid food


-loves bath time still and especially now that he is in his own bath tub


-sitting up on his own
-"talking" a lot


-being ornery and getting into everything
-crawling about 2-3 crawls at a time and then falling
-on hands and feet a lot, not really on his knees when trying to move
-laughing all the time



-trying to crawl off the changing table while naked almost every single time!
-being the best little Aggie/wildcat ever




Hunter, I have loved every last minute with you over the past 6 months. I can' t wait to see how you change and grow and learn over the next month. You are my best and favorite gift from God. I love you more and more everyday!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

My Inner Foodie

Oh goodness, I have been channeling my inner Martha Stewart, or maybe some other awesome housewife. HAHA, but seriously I have been trying to get our house more organized, I have been learning to crochet, I want to pick up sewing AND I have started to cook.  Matt is usually the cook in the family but I have started to really enjoy the process.  SOOOO  last night I thought I would pick a recipe from the Ol' Pinterest board and give it a go.  Let me tell ya, it was A-MA-ZING...ok so not quite that dramatic but it was really good. It was even Matt approved.  So without further a due here it is:

Honey-Lime Sweet Potato, Black Bean and Corn Tacos 

(credit goes to Cooking Classy were you can also find the recipe)

 Dry Ingredients

 Chopped Onions and Sweet Potatoes

 A few finishing touches

Final Product!  

We topped ours with salsa, avocado, and feta cheese.  They were delicious and healthy!  A great combination for me.  I am loving trying these new recipes and becoming a better cook!  The prep work took the longest but it still was very easy.  I think next time I might heat the tortillas a different way instead of in the microwave.  This will definitely be a new meal in the Schafer house.  Y'all should give it a try!

Red Red Red Neck

Yes, Natalie that title is for you :)

So I have A LOT to catch up on these days but I will start with a fun night out with one of my favorite guys!  Matt gave me an AWESOME birthday gift back in April and that was tickets to Blake Shelton.  If anyone knows me they know I am country through and through.  I have listened to country music my whole life and pretty much only listened to that.  Blake Shelton has been a favorite of mine even back in the mullet days!  I am not sure what it is about him but I just love him.  His voice can be so soothing and his songs can touch my heart like no other (besides the King which I get to see in January!!!!)

So even though I have a MAJOR crush on him Matt still got us tickets.  It was such a great night just to relax, have some fun and spend some quality time with my main squeeze.  Hunter spent the evening with his Grandma and Grandpa which they of course loved so we knew he would be in good hands. 

Because the concert was on a Thursday night and we both had to work that day we were not able to get a good dinner before the concert so drive thru it was!  Jana Kramer and Easton Corbin were the openers.

I was a One Tree Hill fan so I love Jana Kramer as she played Alex the last few seasons on that show.  Problem was when we go to the Sprint Center the line was SO long to get in that we barely got inside by 7:30 when the show started.  We missed Jana completly because we were also on a hunt for some adult beverages.  The first few places we stopped at only had Coors Light (Travis Riley would have loved it) so we kept looking but never found anything else so we settled.  We got to our seats in time for Easton Corbin.  He was great but I was ready to see Blake!

Blake put on such a great show.  He is so funny and engages the audience the whole time.  He does talk about drinking A LOT but other than that he was awesome to see.  He did some old school stuff and even put on a mullet wig.  This girl was in heaven!

Thank you Matt for a great night out.  I love you for your willingness to feed my crush :)

Some upcoming changes to the ol blog

Hello Everyone!

I am not really sure who all reads my blog but there have been some things come up recently that has led me to make some changes to my blog.  I am going to make my blog private and only open to readers that have requested access.  I am doing this to simply limit people that I do not want to know about what is going on with my family to be able to see it.  I know this might be harsh but I am doing what I feel is right at this time.  If you would still like to read updates on the Schafer's just send me your email address and I will be able to add you to the list.  I will probably make this change in the next 2 weeks!

Thank you for understanding and please either comment below with your email address or send it to me at schaferrach09@gmail.com

Best-
Rachel

5 Months!!!

Oh goodness it has been a LONG time since I have posted anything.  Such a bad blogger!  I have a really good excuse though....this guy

Yep, I just can't get enough of him so it is SO hard to pull myself away at night to get a blog together.  He has changed so much in the last 3 months it is crazy!  The last time I blogged he was just 2 months, and now he is 5!  Where does the time go?  I have loved every single moment of my life the last 5 months, even those sleepless nights.  Hunter is now eating solid food, sitting in a high chair at the table, holding himself up on his hands and knees, moving backwards, laughing, sleeping through the night (on occasion), and being the light of my world.

He rolled over for the first time at Natalie and Travis Riley's house when we were down for a visit.  It was so great to see him do that and I was so excited!  He will soon be crawling and I will not be able to keep him from going anywhere.  He is already very active even though he is not crawling.  His legs are constantly moving!  He is one determined little man.

Hunter, I will probably tell you this the rest of your life but you truly are the most wonderful little man ever.  You bring so much joy to my life and amaze me every single day.  I don't know what I would do without you.   I know there will be days when you are older that you will push me to the limit but for now you are perfect in every way.  You have the personality of your dad and I combined, which is starting to get a little scary :)  One of these days you will give us a run for our money that is for sure!  You already know how to get to both of us and know how to use that little face of yours to get what you want.  I love you more everyday and can't wait to continue to watch you grow!

Hunter is 2 Months!

Yes, again I will say that I can't believe he is growing so fast and is already 2 Months!  Almost 3 because this mom is HORRIBLE at posting.  I need to get better because I want to be able to remember all of this once he is older.

                                                                           
                                                                                 So at 2 months my little man is:

• Smiling ALL the time
• Cooing up a storm
• Loving his bouncy seat
• Mimicking dad
• Eating 5 oz's
• Sleeping 4hrs at night
• Sleeping in his crib
• Still having reflux issues
• Still LOVES bath time
• Starting to enjoy tummy time
• LOVES lights and anything bright

Loving bath time, but not sure about the wash cloth!

His stats: (these were at his 2 month check up on June 27)

• 75% head circumference (still)
• 23.5 inches long
• 11 lbs 13 oz

                                                                                                                                                                                     

I am enjoying all the time we get to spend with this happy little dude.  He has truly been a wonderful baby.  Watching him learn new things, like that if he kicks he can make the lights on his bouncer turn on, is so much fun!  He is kicking his legs a lot and will move a ton while he is asleep.  I am thinking he might start pushing himself up soon but we shall see!

Cool Dude (Daddy dressed him in his 'Ladies Man' onsie)

How could you not love seeing this smile everyday!  It is moments like this that make those sleepless nights just fad away!

Hi MOM!

Being a mom is one of the hardest most rewarding jobs I have ever had!  I would NOT change it for anything in this world.

1 MONTH

I can't believe Hunter is already over a month old!  I am trying to adjust to this new life so that is why the ol' blog has taken a major backseat!  I am trying to play catch up and first thing is his 1 month update.

Stats:

•  21.5 inches long (grew 1 inch since birth)
• 10lbs 1 oz
• 75% head circumference

• Loves bath time
• Always smiling unless he is hungry
• Sleeps about 4hrs at a time at night
• Does not like to go to sleep when we try and put him down at night but will eventually fall asleep
• Hates being put in his car seat
• Hates tummy time
• Loves going on jogs with mom
• Loves his time watching baseball, golf and Duck Dynasty with dad
• Starting to laugh
• Mimics his dad 
• Continuous fills our hearts with joy

He has changed our lives for the better and I can not imagine my life without him.  I am blessed that God chose me to be his mom!  He has been a true blessing for Matt and I.  He has been so easy and I sometimes wonder if that is God's way of telling me that His plan was perfect from the beginning and because of our struggle he has blessed us with a very peaceful and loving little man.

The day that changed my life forever

Hunter Joseph Schafer

I can't believe it has taken me a month to final write about Hunter's birth.  Well, I can actually because all I have wanted to do this last month was be with him so blogging was the last thing on my mind.

April 26, 2013 is the day my life changed forever and it is the best change ever!  I am so blessed to call this little man mine and I will forever thank God for this wonderful blessing.  The night before we went to the hospital I could not sleep.  I was so excited to get there and get things started so I could finally meet Hunter.  I was restless all night and then finally just decided around 5 to take a shower, get ready and fix blueberry muffins :).  Matt got up around 6 and showered, got ready, ate and we got on the road to Manhattan.

Family of 3!

I was all checked in and in my room by 7:30 and hooked up to pitocin.  My doctor came in to check on me around 8:30 and broke my water.  After that the contractions really started to come on.  They weren't really bad they were just annoying.  I had heard horror stories about pitocin so I was expecting things to be much worse.  Matt and I just hung out (well he hung out with me because I couldn't really do anything) most of the morning.  Our nurse checked on me about every hour and I still had to check my blood sugar as well.  Lucky for me I got to eat a little bit during the day because of the gestational diabetes.  I had muffins and peanut butter and crackers :)  Around the lunch hour I was so exhausted from not sleeping the night before and the contractions were getting a little more uncomfortable that I asked for the epidural.  I thought maybe once I got it I could get some sleep.  Once I had that Matt left and went to lunch with his parents so I could rest.  That did not happen.  Once Matt was gone and I closed my eyes for about 15 mins the nurse was back in telling me that Hunter was not responding properly after the contractions so she needed me to sit up and lean to one side.  She left and then was back in a few minutes later saying that was not working.  We changed sides again and that seemed to help.  About 20 mins later she was back saying he stopped responding again so they had to put me on oxygen.

During all this time Matt was at lunch and I was starting to get really emotional.  I didn't know what was going on but our nurse was so good and just kept telling me that it was going to be ok.  I finally text Matt and asked him to come back as soon as he could.  He was just pulling into the hospital so I wasn't alone for that long.  He felt bad for leaving but neither of us knew anything was going to happen like that.  Everything turned out just fine but I never got any rest :)  When I got the epidural I was almost to a 5 so I was progressing nicely.

Perfect little man.

Around 5:00 the nurse came back in and said I was really close.  She told me to push a little on the next contraction and I did and she immediately told me to stop.  She said I was ready and they needed to get me prepped and get our doctor there.  She did a few things for me and then left.  It wasn't 5 minutes later that I really started to feel the pressure.  It was crazy.  I looked at Matt and I was like, "I hope they get here soon because I think Hunter is coming and coming fast!"  I was able to feel the contractions again, and the pressure was really intense.  That lasted about 30mins until the nurse came back in and told me I could push my little button to give myself more of the epidural!  Of course those 30mins seemed like FOREVER.  I pushed for more meds and then she sat me up, got me ready and at 6:00 we started the process.  I started pushing and then they had to change shifts.  So in the middle of labor we changed nurses.  I wasn't really thinking about it much since I was in labor but after the fact I thought, "what the heck" but then again no one knows how long I could have pushed.

One proud dad!

Matt was excellent since he was the only one helping me for awhile since the nurses were changing and going over things.  He would count for me and just talk me through everything.  I could not have done it without him.  About 6:30 my doctor got there and was there for 2 contractions and then little man was here!  She told me I made her job easy.  Haha.  So 38 mins after pushing we had our perfect little man.  I know I don't have anything to compare it to but for me I think I got lucky on this labor.  Things for the most part went very smoothly and as weird as it is to say it was easy.

Hunter Joseph Schafer was born on April 26, 2013 at 6:38pm.  He was 7lbs 11oz and 20.5 inches long.  He was perfect in every way!

Reflections of a Long Journey

*This is long, just an FYI

With a few short days to go until we meet Hunter, I have been spending a lot of time reflecting on this journey Matt and I have been on.  When I think back, I never really thought about how I would feel now about becoming a mom.  The thought was always there but never a concrete emotion since it was "not real" yet.

Looking back to when this all began back in 2010 I did not think it would be 3 years later that I would finally be at this point.  I don't think anyone does.  You hear it all the time how easy it is to get pregnant so why would it not be that way for us right?  Well, we were wrong.  We tried, we tried, and we tried some more with no success.  Just stop thinking about it and it will happen, take some time off and it will happen, plan something big and it will happen was all we heard.  How do you stop thinking about it?? We stopped "trying" so to speak by not calculating days but really still knowing when the best time to do the deed would be.  I schedule a half marathon, something big, and it didn't happen.  I actually ran 2 as a matter of fact and still nothing.  The only thing that happened when I scheduled the marathons was that I got hurt, not pregnant!  Just my luck.

Just getting the bump.  Pretty sure this was 20 something weeks!

After being unsuccessful for a year we talked with my doctor.  She did blood work, and come to find out I have some infertility issues.  Well I could have probably figured that out, but at least we had a small answer to our struggles.  So she puts me on medicine.  A few months in, we are pregnant!  Wow, the medicine really worked!  We were so happy that we didn't have to struggle any longer and that in 9 short months we would have our little bundle of joy...not so fast.

Thanksgiving 2012-17 weeks

Only 9 weeks in, we lost the baby.  Looking back it still hurts.  My heart still breaks when I think about it.  When we were putting Hunter's nursery together we put up a cross that a friend of ours sent to us with the date of our loss on it and I sat in the floor and cried.  I held that cross like it was my little baby and I thanked it for being an angel that will now watch over Hunter.  It was bittersweet putting up that cross but it might be my favorite part of the nursery.  Going through a loss is tough and I would not wish that on my worst enemy but what Matt and I learned about each other through that time was priceless.  I saw things in my husband that I have never seen before and it made our love so much stronger.  Is it something I would want to go through again...HELL NO, but did we learn from it, yes and that is what is important.

New Years 2013- 22 weeks

After the loss the doctor said it shouldn't be hard to get pregnant again since your hormones are now working properly.  Well again, not the case for me.  We started on medicine again.  Let me tell you a little about Clomid...it's not so wonderful!  It made me VERY hormonal...obviously because I was not used to have that amount of hormones in my system but I never thought it would be that bad.  There were days when looking back I am shocked that Matt stuck around.  Wow!  He is a great man that is for sure.

We were back on Clomid for about 5 months before tried the IUI.  We cut a lot out of our budget to afford this because it was worth it to us.  3 attempts later we were pregnant!  I was so excited and Matt was still a little weary.  He wanted to be excited but a part of him was still thinking...could we lose this one too?  I had those same thoughts as well but tried REALLY hard not to show it.  When we saw our little one for the first time I have never felt so relieved.  Still it was hard to get excited as we just never know what could happen.

Now, we are just 10 days or less from meeting our little guy.  The journey has been long (and yes I know it could have been longer and for some it is) but in the end when I hold Hunter for the first time it will all be worth it.  There will be days when I still think of the loss we had and the struggle we had to get where we are now, but those days won't hurt as much.  Here we are, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and I can't wait for this new chapter to start.