Join the Movement!

This video/movement is pretty awesome.  Whether you are single or married it is for you.  I know that at this point I am not a Proverbs 31 woman but I can be and I will strive to be that!

Friends are Family

I have had some time to reflect on my life the past few weeks and have realized a few things.
Friends are family and when you find great friends you need to keep them close.  I would say that I was not a good friend in high school or college.  I was unhappy with myself which turned into me being unhappy in life.  I did not engage with people and I did not go out on the weekends with friends in high school and so I felt very alone even though I knew if I just picked up the phone I would have somewhere to go or someone to hang out with.  I was very insecure in high school and now as I look back on things I lost a lot of great friendships.  That is on me and something that I have to work on daily.  I still have insecurities, I still have unhappy days, but I am working on not pushing my friends away.  No matter what the distance is between friends if you pick up the phone it is like they are in the same room.  Because of my past I did not stay close with people once I left an area.  So once I left high school I left behind friends, when I left college I left behind friends and it stinks to look back on what I lost.  If I would have just picked up the phone, or sent an email anything would have been better than nothing.  I think I thought people were always judging me and the mistakes I made but I have realized that true friends are going to be there no matter what.

Last night I hung out with some of my friends here in Kansas.  All these ladies work with me at Kansas State and have been such blessings in this transition back to Kansas.  They are some of my closest friends up here and even though our lives may take us in different directions I know that they will be there always.  I have learned from my past and learned that friends like these are worth keeping!  It is not the quantity of friends that I have it is the quality of friends and these ladies are pure greatness!  So thank you to all of you that have stuck with me this last year and listened to my "poor me" stories and still loved me!

Starting over...

I feel like I have used this cliche so often lately that I have begun to realize that I tend to not finish a lot of the things that I start.  Some of that is out of my control but others truly is me becoming lazy.

I started over with my running because I got lazy.  I stopped going to the gym or I stopped lacing up my shoes, why?  Who knows but mainly I was lazy.

I stopped reading the Bible and stopped praying.  Why?  Because God had given me everything I have asked for and I don't need him anymore???  UMM NO!  I need Him everyday, I just got lazy.  I don't have the firm foundation I need/want to stand on, but that is not because He has not tried it is because I have not tried.

We are starting over in starting a family.  Now this is not my fault but again it is starting over and I have learned from it.  I have learned that through all of it, Matt and I still need to focus on our marriage and what is best for us.  We need to still show each other that the other is the most important in our lives and not get caught up in every thing else.  During this time I got lazy in showing Matt how much he means to me and how much I love him.  Again, I got lazy.

Those are just a few examples of things I am having to start over within the last few weeks.  It helps me to be able to look back and reflect on what I wasn't doing so that I can move forward.

Slowly I am getting my endurance back and I am not being hard on myself that I can't run 6 miles right now much less 3, but we all have to start somewhere.  Today I did NOT want to go to the gym but I did and now I feel much better.  It is baby steps and I have to keep focused.

I have an app on my phone that I look at every day that has a passage or two from the Bible and a little blurb about it.  I know that it is not much but for me it is a start.  I do want to dive in further and strengthen my foundation and trust in God but I have to start small or I will get overwhelmed.  One day at a time.  Praying is a little harder because when I remember to do it I feel bad that I did not do it first thing in the morning or right before bed.  I feel like God is going to see this as an after thought and then I put it off again.  I HAVE to get better at praying and talking to Him because that is so important and I NEED it.  (side note-any advice from fellow friends would be great)

And starting a family and loving Matt is an everyday thing and I know the things I need to do to get there.  Obviously details on the family part are not going to be shared but showing Matt that he is important and that my whole focus is not just to have a baby but to make a life and family with him.  I got so caught up in getting pregnant that I never stepped back to remember the other person in the equation.

So this is where I stand, starting over one day at a time.  Running is still hard, God is still a mystery to me that I can't wait to uncover, and I still miss that little one but each day is a new day.

9 Weeks

*Disclaimer-I am not writing this for people to feel sorry for me, I am writing it so that I can remember.  It might be weird that I want to remember these feeling but I do.  And well this is my blog so writing my feelings is ok right??


October 31st was one of the best day's of mine and your dad's life.  I found out that you were growing inside me and in a few short months you would be a part of this world.  I could not wait until July to hold you in my arms.  From the moment I found out about you I loved you and so did your dad.  Probably if I was accurate I have loved you way before that day.  We kept you a secret and only told our family and they were overjoyed and trust me they loved you from day one as well.  I thought about you everyday wondering if you would be a little girl or a little boy.  Either way we would have been happy.  It was hard keeping you a secret from our friends because they were all so ready to hear about you.

November 30th became one of the hardest days of our lives when after some complications and a visit to the doctor we found out that you were no longer growing.  Dr. Roles who is awesome and was so happy for us because she has been on this long journey with us, told us the devastating news that you stopped growing around 5 or 6 weeks.  My body was in the beginning stages of letting you go so after hours of waiting we made a choice to have Dr. Roles go ahead and remove you.  It was a very hard decision but we knew it was best.  I was very sad, your dad was very sad and our families were very sad.  You were and still are loved.

Even though you did not make it into this world you made a difference in our lives.  You gave me hope!  Hope that one day I will be a mom and your dad will be a dad.  We are sad that it will not be you but we know that you did what you had to do for us.  You gave our marriage strength and love that we had not shared before.  You helped mend relationships that had been going in the wrong direction, and you instilled faith back into our lives.  For all of these things I am grateful.  Yes I am sad that I will not hold you but I am thankful that you are in Heaven watching over us and that one day you will be there sharing in our joy as we welcome our baby.

I write this to you so that I can remember even though it was a sad, hard time it was also a blessing.  You did things that we could not do ourselves.  May your precious soul rest at the right hand of our Father in Heaven!

I love you, little one.

Thanksgiving!

I have SO much to be thankful for this year and Thaksgiving with my family was just what I needed.  Although I did not take 1 single picture becasue I was too busy soaking up all the family time!

We left on Wednesday and made the long trek down to Texas.  We made our stop in Fort Worth to eat with our dear friends Eric and Lindsey Watson.  I miss those 2 so much and hope that someday they will move back to Kansas so we can have Super Mario Brothers dates again!  We went to Cotton Patch and did not get kicked out this time and all our food was cooked properly!  It was nice to just sit and chill with great friends again.  I wish we could have seen more of our Fort Worth friends but with it being the holidays we were on a tight schedule.

Thursday was the big game and we all headed down to College Station for some tailgating.  The game did not end at all how I would have wanted it to so I not even going to comment about it.  I had a great time with my family and friends at the tailgate and as always soaking up all the Aggie Spirit that I love so much!

Friday it was a girls kinda day with a little Matthew and Ian thrown in the mix.  My mom, Lea, Joe'l, Ashley, Faith, Hayley, Emma, Me  and Matthew and Ian all went to lunch and then some of us headed to Mom and Dad's for a little resting.  We spent that night eating some delicious soup brought out by Jason and Ashley.  It was great getting to know Ashley and Ian a little more.  Can't wait to have them apart of this crazy family.

Saturday was my sister's birthday and we spent that morning with her and then we got on the road to head north.  We wanted to beat the traffic and we kinda did.  We made another stop in Fort Worth to have lunch with Travis and Natalie Riley and her family at Texas Roadhouse for her birthday.  We absolutely love that family and those 2 our some of our closest friends so anytime we get to see them is a blessing.  We look forward to Christmas where we might be able to see them again.  If not it will be a planned trip to San Antonio to see the new house!

All in all we had a great time and I have so much to be thankful for this year.  I didn't get all 30 days of thankfulness but know deep in my heart and am so very thankful for ALL that I have and ALL that is coming up in the next year!!

Weekend of Thanks

I am just going to sum up my weekend of thanks with one word....FOOTBALL!  I truly am thankful for football.  It calms my heart, almost gives me a heart attack makes me cry, scream and laugh all at the same time!  It is the craziest thing ever that all those emotions can happen all at the same time.

Saturday was such a great day for me.  My Aggies decided to show up all 4 quarters of the football game against Kansas!  It was great and I hope that they decide to show up for all 4 this Thursday against Texas!  I will always be an Aggie fan whether they are winning or losing.  I bleed maroon and will until the day I die.

I also enjoyed watching Kansas State (my other school but that I don't love near as much as I do A&M) beat Texas for the 3rd straight time!  I would have preferred the offense showing up a little more but a win is a win.  I am proud of those boys to continue to excel even though every week they are the underdog.  Collin Klein is probably one of the best quarterbacks I have seen in some time.  He truly leaves EVERYTHING out on that field.

The last game of the night that I truly enjoy was watching Baylor beat OU.  I do not root for Baylor very often since I am an Aggie and well you all probably know....But I did on Saturday night.  My best friend is a Baylor Bear and I could not be happier for her and this win.  RG3 is truly a great quarterback and I hope that he continues to excel in his career.  He will be fun to watch on Sundays.  I am thankful that Amber was able to spend such a great game with her sister.  I am sure it made it that much sweeter.  I almost cried for those Bears on Saturday night because they put their whole heart in that game and it showed.

So yes, I am kinda weird that I am thankful for Football, but come on it is such a crazy intense game to watch!

Day 18-Memories

Today I am thankful for memories.  Even those this memories still breaks my heart it is something that  changed my life forever. I will never forget the 12 fallen Aggies from 12 years ago.  I may not have known any of them but they were family.  May you never be forgotten.  We are the Aggies, the Aggies are we.

Day 14, 15 and 16

I know I know I am bad at keeping up with this but I am trying :)

Emma and Haylea at an A&M Game in pouring down rain.

Day 14-Nieces and Nephew
My nieces and nephew are super awesome.  They make me laugh and make my heart smile so much when I am around them.  I can't wait to see them next week when I am in Texas.  They are growing up so fast some days I wish that I could just keep them where they are!  I can't believe that Faith will be a teenager next year!  I can still remember her being a little baby.  And Matthew is growing up to be such a young man.  Haylea and Emma are like 2 peas in a pod and I love seeing those 2 play together.  I can't get over how much they have grown up and as much as I don't like to see I can't wait to see what the future holds.

Haylea and Emma playing in the sand pile at Nanny and PawPaw's house

Day 15-People I work with
I really do love the people I work with.  They are kind, understanding and generally have my back.  I do miss my Cassie though and our long wonderful talks we would have in our office but I have gained some great friends here and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Faith is growing up so fast!

Matthew and Haylea at the shop.  

Day 16-My phone
I know that seems superficial maybe but I am thankful that I have a phone that keeps me connected to the people I care for the most.  I am far away from my family so it helps knowing they are just a phone call away.

Day 11, 12 and 13

I am playing catch up since I don't usually blog over the weekend.

Day 11-
I am thankful for my health.  I don't have any major health problems and I am thankful for that.  I try pretty hard to eat healthy, work out and stay away from harmful things.

Day 12-
Thankful for days filled with friends and family.  My sister and brother-in-law were in town over the weekend and I had a great time with them.  We laughed, laughed, and laughed some more.  We made great memories that will last a life time.

Day 13-
I am thankful for lazy Sundays spent on my couch watching Lifetime movies by myself so no one makes fun of me.  It helps that it is hunting season and Matt was gone so it was just me and the 3 animals being super lazy and I loved it!

Day 10-Laughter

I am so thankful that there is laughter in this world.  There is so much pain but above all of that there is laughter.  If you have ever heard a baby have a real belly laugh then you know what pure happiness is.  I wish we could all go back to the days of the full on belly laugh and maybe this world would be a better place.... actually I know it would be a better place.

Here are a few things that have made me laugh lately!

This is totally my Rocky!

I am sure there are more things but for some reason I can't remember any of them right now!  Anyway, share with me something that has made you laugh or smile lately!!

Day 8-Friends and Day 9-My job

I am so thankful for all my friends.  The one's that are close and the ones that live far away.  I wish that i could see them more often but unfortunately I can't.  If I were rich I would own a private jet and go visit my friends ALL the time!

My closest friends have held me up in some of my lowest times.  They have encouraged me to keep going when I wanted to give up and they have continued to love me when I didn't deserve it.

Day 9-My job

I am thankful for my job because it pays the bills....some of them :)  But seriously I love what I do and I love where I am at.  There are some days that are hard to keep going but I always remember that I am helping someone reach their goal.  I don't always get thanked but the times that I do make everything worth it.

Day 7-Clean house and Laundry

Ok so this may not be a big deal to some but it is to me.  A clean house means that I have a roof over my head and a clean laundry means that I have clothes to wear and I am very thankful for both of those.

Yesterday after church, I cleaned my house and sometimes it can be a pain but when it is done it just makes the day seem so much better.  I love the way a clean house smells, how it looks and how it feels.  I am thankful that I am able to have a wonderful house that I get to clean because many people do not have this luxury.

I love the smell of clean clothes and clean sheets.  I love that I am worthy enough to have clothes to clean and sheets to sleep on.  I am beyond blessed even when I forget about these sometimes.

I am only on day 7 and it has made me more aware of all the things that I truly have to be thankful for.

Day 6-Freedom

Today I am thankful to live in America and to be free.  I am thankful to all the soldiers and their families that sacrifice so much for me and the rest of the nation.

To many people don't thank soldiers or their families for all that they give up.  And it makes my heart hurt when this happens.  There are too many people in this nation that complain about what our soldiers are doing yet the reason they can complain is because of a soldier.  People need to remember all that has been sacrificed for each one of us.

So today...and everyday I am thankful for my freedom and for the soldiers and their families that sacrifice it all for me.

Day 5-InLaws

Sorry these are late I don't use the computer on the weekends to blog.

Day 5
I am thankful for my in-laws.  My mother and father in-law have been such a blessing to Matt and I in the this transition of moving back to Kansas and getting settled into a new house.  Even when we lived in Texas they always made an effort to come and visit us to helps us feel close.  And they even make me my own apple pies :)

Chris-my brother-in-law is such a hard worker and a great provider to my sister and Emma.  Our family was blessed when this long haired bandanna wearing boy came into our lives.

Nick and Elora have also been blessings to me and I am thankful they are in my life also.  Things can be rough with siblings and I might take things a little too much to heart but in the end I am still very thankful for them both.

And sometime in the future when my brother gets his act together I will be adding another sister to the family.  I am overjoyed to add Ashley to the mix and can't wait for the holidays so that I can get to know her more!

Day 4-My Awesome Hubby

Today I am thankful for my hubby-Matt.  He is truly my better half...although don't let him know that!  He has been there for me through thick and thin and lots of laughs and tears.  Through it all he has never stood in front of me or behind me, he has always been beside me.

As some of you that know me, I am not the easiest to get along with. I can be pretty sensitive and take what other people say to heart and then I turn around and take it out on Matt.  Weird thing is is that he had NOTHING to do with it in the first place, and you know what this man does...he smiles through it and tells me he loves me.  Which kinda makes me mad but only for a second.  I can be ungrateful at times but that does not keep him from doing wonderful things for me.  I can be mean for no reason and the most loving wife 2 seconds later (and no this does not happen all the time, I am usually a pretty fun person to be around) and yet he still loves me.

He has been my rock, he has been my voice when I could not say what was on my heart, he has been my shoulder to cry on, and has been the laughter I needed when the days were pretty dark.  I love him more and more everyday and I can not wait for our journey to continue.  I feel truly blessed to call this wonderful man my husband and I so thankful for him and should probably tell him more :)

Day 3-Siblings

Today I am thankful for my siblings.  Lea, Joe'l and Jason are super crazy but I love them all!

Lea and I have had our ups and downs but in the end she is my best friend.  I am sure I hated her in high school and probably a little through college but even then I loved her.  She has been with me when I feel in love and when I got my heart broke.  She stood next to me as I married the most wonderful man, and she is my best cheerleader through the storms we call life.

Joe'l and I did not grow up together but spent some weekends as kids together.  She has grown to be a great friend and she is such a great mom.  She has kept me from doing some pretty stupid things and I can't thank her enough.

Jason....well what I can I say about him.  We did not grow up together since he is the oldest and I am the baby :) But I am truly thankful for him and the life that he leads now.  He has become and amazing man and I can't wait to see what the future holds for him.

We are all a little crazy but we are all AWESOME!  I would not be where I am today if I did not have these 3 in my life.

30 Days of Thankfulness...Let's GO!

I am challenging myself to blog the 30 things I am thankful for so here it goes (there will be 2 today since it is the 2nd)

Day One

I am thankful for my God.  I am thankful that I was introduced to Him and that He has been so wonderful to me. I am thankful that He gave His son for me and loves me day in and day out.  I can't thank Him enough for the wonderful blessing He has given me, especially since I do not feel worthy enough for them.  I am so thankful He loved us enough to give the ultimate sacrifice.

Day Two

I am thankful for my parents.  I was not the easiest person to get along with nor am I now the easiest person to get along with but they still love me (sometimes, just kidding).  My mom and dad gave up so much for us kids and we probably never thanked them enough.  Weekend trips to gymnastics meets, school functions, money here and money there, they gave and gave to us and in return they raised some pretty darn good kids if I have to say so myself :)  I hope that one day when I am a mom I can be half the mom mine was to me.  And no dad out there holds a candle to my dad.  He is super awesome, gave so much more to Lea and I than I could ever imagine and he did it all because he loved us.  We were not his blood but we were his heart and that is all that mattered to him.  My parents are pretty awesome, so if you don't know them you should and if you do you are pretty darn lucky!  Love you guys.

Getting on a Soapbox...and something fun!

I don't blog a lot but that's ok, it means I am busy...or just have no life.  Anyway I am going to get on a soap box really quick so hang on...

Ok I am there.  I don't get some people's sense of humor or their lack of tact maybe.  I know people that make jokes about things that other people are struggling with and I just don't get it.  It is rude and inappropriate but I guess I don't get it because I am not like that.  I don't understand people being rude but thinking it is funny.  Being rude is being rude and it is hurtful...or maybe I am too sensitive.  Anyway I just don't like when others make jokes about things that other people are struggling with.

Ok I am off now!

Let's get onto something fun...here is a new song that I love because I am sure that my father-in-law had many encounters like this because of Matt, Nick, probably Ross and JP at times...although he will say that nothing those boys did/do compare to the hell he, Shug, Neil, Don, Mike and others made...haha 

Laugh Until We Cry...

I love this song because of the last verse.  It is where Matt and I are right now, and I know that one day that will be us!  I can't wait for the day we are laughing until we cry.

Pinterest is going to make me go BROKE!

So I am in love with Pinterest and if you aren't on it you should be because it's AWESOME!  I have found so many cute ideas that I would LOVE to do but don't have the money.  Oh Matt is going to hate the fact that I found this lovely new website!  HAHA

So anyway, I was actually able to make one of the things I found on Pinterest and I made it for FREE!  Got to love that.  Matt brought me home a pallet from work and we went to work on it together.  It was a lot of fun.  So below is the progress and finished product on the kitchen wall.

We have been trying to decorate our kitchen and came up with the "country kitchen" theme so I want to create wall decor out of a pallet to have it look like an old barn wood or something.

We took the pallet completely apart...ok so Matt did most of it and I watched!

Then we put it back together with very little direction because it was hard for me to explain to Matt what was in my head...sometimes I wish he could read my mind...sometimes!

And the finished product!  We still have to get things to put on them but I like the way it turned out!

Hi God, it's me....Again

Heavenly Father, I know we haven't spoken in a few weeks and for that I am sorry.  I know that I should not come to you only when I need you but it seems like that is the habit I have gotten into.  I want to come to you daily, for my joys, for my heart break, for nothing at all.  I know I should I just don't.  But I come to you now on my knees asking for you to help me.  I need patience, understanding, compassion, and hope.

I need patience that your timing is in all this and that when you are ready for me to have a baby it will happen.  I need patience to understand that it is not all about my wants but about your desires for me.  I need patience to understand that people ask because they care not because they want me to hurt more thinking about it.  And I need patience with Matt that I stop taking my emotions out on him and that I can be patient with his desires as well.

I need understanding about why.  Why can't I get pregnant, why can't it be me?  Why is it me that is struggling.  Did I do something wrong?  Have I not been good enough to deserve a baby?  Help me to understand your desires for me and my family.

I need compassion for Matt.  I need to learn to not take this out on him and realize he has done nothing wrong.  I probably need compassion for myself so that I will stop being so hard on myself but I truly feel this is all my fault for the actions I have done in the past.  I need compassion or really a desire to be joyful for others that are pregnant or having babies.

And Lord, I need hope.  Hope that I am meant to have a baby, or hope that you have other plans for us.  I am lost right now and I really need you.  I know that I should be in conversation with you all the time not just when I need something and I am trying...I just need you.

We went HOWLIN!

This past weekend I went home to Texas to celebrate my sister Joe'ls 30th birthday.  I had SO much fun with her, my sis Lea, my momma and her friend Vicki from high school.  It was a successful girls weekend.


On Saturday morning Lea and I headed to the Heart of Texas Soccer fields to watch Emma's first soccer game and she did great!  She scored 1 goal and almost scored 3 more.  She had such a great time and I loved being able to see her play.

After that we headed to my parents house to drop of Emma and pick up Joe'l and mom.  My dad got to stay home with all 3 grand-kids....Emma, Haylea, and Matthew.  Pretty sure he was exhausted once we got back!

We got to the hotel in San Antonio and then headed straight out to Dicks Last Resort and if you have never been there I highly recommend it.  We had such a great time and the food and beer were delicious!

Next and last stop was Howl at The Moon!  That night the Aggies won the Fight Song Duel!  WHOOP!  It  was a lot of fun and Joe'l had to get on stage for her birthday and do the adult hockey pokey :)  It was so funny!

It was a great time and I can't wait for the next all girl trip!

Twin Cities is Twice the Fun

We spent last weekend in the Twin Cities visiting one of my very dear friends Alisha.  She and I met and Kansas State and became fast friends.  She was there through some really rough times that I had and then on one of the most wonderful days of my life she stood by my side again.  Needless to say we have a lot of memories and a friendship that continues to grow.

Matt and I took this little road trip with other great friends of ours from Kansas, Leslie and Joey.  I actually met Leslie and Alisha at the same time and our friendship has grown a lot since I moved back to Kansas.  Joey and Matt and like 2 peas in a pod so there is never a dull moment when they are together.

You can barely see this but Matt is riding his golf club like a horse, and Joey has a dart gun he was shooting off. 

 Never dull moments!

We left Thursday evening after work and arrived in St.Paul, MN around 2:00am.  We were tired and went straight to bed.  On friday we headed out to see Alisha and get a few things for the game that night.  We were going to the Twins vs. Royals game at the new Target Field on friday night but we came unprepared.  A big storm blew in and it poured down rain most of the day so we had to get some rain gear, just in case.  After our little adventure to the store we headed to a place called Psycho Suzi's for a late lunch and beverages!  It was such a neat place.  We really wished it wasn't raining so we could have sat out on the patio, but no big deal we still had fun.  If you are ever in the area, you have to go.

After lunch we headed towards the field because we didn't know what traffic was going to be like.  We got their early so we went to a pub and have a drink before the game.  Thankfully the rain let up and it turned into a great evening for baseball.  And for all the Royals fan's it was a great ending game, when Hosmer hit the 9th inning homerun!

Saturday the girls went shopping and the boys played golf at the only course that was open.  We didn't realize how much rain had come down until we saw a few roads were closed due to flooding.  It was crazy.  That night we got all fancied up and headed to Bradstreet for some dinner and great drinks.  This place is super cool and they make some wonderful drinks.  They do not call themselves bartenders either, they are mixologist!  Another great place to go if you are in that area!

All in all, it was a great weekend!  I am so thankful we had the chance to visit and I look forward to many more adventures with my great friends.

4th of July fun

We had an eventful 4th of July! Since we live do not live in the city limits we can set fire works off at the house, and the boys had way to much fun with this! There were some left over from last year that were shot off and ones that were bought this year....and then this happened...

Yep we caught the grass on fire! Thankful we got in under control and did not have to call the fire department! haha, it was a lot drier than the boys thought. It was an eventful evening though. We did have to buy a new fire extinguisher so we are ready if it happens again.

Sunday we headed east to Perry to hang out with family and friends and had a great time. I didn't take any pictures...guess I need to get better at that! On Monday we went to Wamego for their parade and wonderful fireworks show! The show last about 25mins and was so worth the tiredness I felt the next day at work. We will for sure go again!

All in all it was a great celebration weekend. Look forward to the next few weeks flying by and then we head to Minnesota to visit my friend Alisha!

3 weeks in...

And I feel great! I am back to running...or not really running a lot but I am at least able to run for more than a minute at a time now :)

Week 3 of the couch to 5K has me running longer and it feels so good. I love how a good run can make life so much better. I had a pretty hard day yesterday but went out for a nice jog/walk last night and it really put me in a much better mood.

I am thankful that I am back to doing something that I love and I am enjoying every step. Matt has started to run with me also and it is a nice time for the 2 of us to talk about our day and things we need to get done. I seem to really let loose when I am running so I tend to talk about anything. I guess it is kinda like alcohol for some people but a much healthier alternative...haha

And I got some new running shoes...why you might ask? Because a mind can do tell you some crazy things! I got hurt a few weeks (like about 2) after I bought a new pair of shoes, and they were a new brand, which I knew I should have just stuck with what I know. But that's beside the point. Anyway, I associated the injury with the new shoes, which I know seems stupid but I did, so I had to get new shoes. They have worked out great and I am loving them! Will not change brands again!

Aren't they pretty!

Starting back at Square 1

So I am starting back at square one on the running. I was released from the doctor last friday with very specific instructions to GO SLOW! Because he didn't want to see me anymore. Kinda a mean thing to say but I know what he meant. The problem here is that I want to go further because I know I can but Matt came to the doctor with me and he is being VERY strict! I know it's a good thing to start slow because as much as I like Dr. Chase I really don't want to see him again either.

So I am back to square one and on the Couch to 5K program again. It has been good because I am taking Scout with me and he needs to lose weight and so he keeps me from go further because he really can't. I am excited to get back on the road and really enjoy running again.

I started week 1 day one last night and it felt GREAT! I have no pain in my legs while running or after so that is good. I was not tired and did not feel exhausted after the run so I know that I still have it in me to keep it up.

I will keep everyone posted on the progress!

Let's Be Real!

So I have been thinking a lot lately and feel like I need to be REAL with myself. It will be help me grow and to help me move on...at least I hope so.

Matt and I have been working on our relationship with Christ and it has been a struggle at times but also a real blessing. There have been things that have been revealed to me that I knew were there but kept putting further down in my heart because I know it's not good. This blog is for me to just put it out on the line and be vulnerable with myself and with Christ.

Jealousy
Ugh what a horrible emotion. I have a lot of it and it has been creeping up SO much lately.

I am jealous when my friends tell me they are pregnant because I WANT that for myself. I have not stopped to think if God wants that for me right now, just that it is MY want. Needless to say I have opened my eyes to this and have found JOY for my friends that are starting this new journey in their life.

I am jealous of people that "seem" to have SO MUCH! They go on trips all the time to different places, they buy huge houses, the get brand new cars, and seem to not worry one bit about money. I don't stop to look around at all that I HAVE. I have a wonderful life, and have been truly blessed and I need to remember this more and thank God daily for the precious life he has given me.

Hurt
I know this can be a healthy emotion but not the way I have been having it lately. I get hurt so easily when someone does not thank Matt or I for all the effort we have put into something but they thank others that really don't have anything to do with it.

I hurt when Matt and I see things that are wrong but get told we need to give it a chance and WE need to change when WE are not the ones doing anything. I get hurt when Matt tells me he feels like he has lost his brother because their relationship WILL never be the same because there is such a rift with them and things have CHANGED so much. It hurts me and I take that out on ones around us because they think it is Matt's problem and that he needs to grow up. I have and will continue to pray for my feelings towards this because I know that it won't change over night.

I hurt when I don't think my friends value our friendship and toss it away like old trash. I get hurt when I plan something and people don't come. I think it means they don't like me or want to hang out with me. Maybe if I was a happier person, maybe if I was cooler people would like me. Seriously what kind of emotion is that!

I guess my hurt ends up being resentment and that is the bad emotion. I don't like where things are going right now, but I don't know how to change them. I have tried to give it a chance and have tried to give the benefit of the doubt but I can't be the only one giving while everyone else is taking. Or can I? Can God give me the strength to keep putting on a smile and telling people that I think its great when deep down I am hurting.

Anger
I get angry at God when things don't go my way. How SELFISH! I am not on this earth for me but for Him. I am trying but I have to be real with myself and with others. My hurt turns into anger and I take it out on everyone around me.

I am sure that if anyone reads this it might make people mad but I have to put it out there for me. I need to be real and if I hurt people feelings I am sorry but I can't hide anymore. I need God, I need His help, but He can't help me unless I am honest with myself. I had to put it down on paper to start moving forward. I pray everyday that God will heal my hurts, that he will soften my heart, to change my emotions to be a benefit to others not a burden. I pray that I will see the best in people and not the worst, and I pray that I can help Matt close the gap that has formed between him and his brother.

I have put it out there for the world to see...

Happy 25th Birthday!

My hubby turns 25 today! And yes you are seeing that number right he is younger than me :) haha! Anyways, he has been a true blessing in my life and I can't think of anyway better to honor him that to write 25 things I love most about him. Obviously there is a lot more than 25 things but I am going with his age :)

1. He provides for me.

2. He is a giver.

3. He makes me laugh daily.

4. He is pretty handsome.

5. He is growing stronger in Christ with me.

6. He loves me even when I am at my worst.

7. He loves to take me fishing even though I always catch and release!

8. He is an AMAZING cook.

9. He helps do laundry and clean the house.

10. He loves our animals so much.

11. He is so excited to be a dad. That does not mean that one is on the way yet, but he lights up every time we talk about it.

12. He laughs at my jokes even the REALLY cheesy ones.

13. He wears maroon and supports my passion for Texas A&M.

14. He is a very hard worker, and has one of the strongest work ethics I know.

15. He is so positive and has a wonderful outlook on life.

16. He supports me over anyone else.

17. He is my rock and has always been there for me.

18. He has an amazing heart.

19. He puts me first.

20. He calls me beautiful.

21. He does things just because.

22. He challenges me to be a better person.

23. He sees the good in people.

24. He knows just what to say to make me feel better. I think sometimes he knows me better than I know myself.

25. He is ALWAYS there for his friends and family even when they have turned their back on him or have said or done hurtful things. He never holds a grudge and is always there.

I love you Matthew Wayne Schafer! I could not i

magine my life without you. 25 years ago God knew what he was doing when you were born. He created you and molded you into the wonderful man that you are today and I so very thankful for that. I look forward to many more birthdays with you and growing closer each and every one of them.

The making of a Nashville Star

So Matt and I went to Nashville to get a chance at my dreams of being a country superstar...ok not really, but the thought was fun.

We went to Nashville for a 2yr anniversary and had a great time. It has been a long time since it was just Matt and I and I think sometime we tend to forget that it is just as important to spend time just the 2 of us sometimes.

We got to Nashville early Saturday morning and spent most of the days walking around downtown in the little shops and listening to people play on the sidewalk. That night we went to the Grand Ole Opry and had such a great time. It was so fun to be in a place like that and experience that part of history. The next day we went and toured the Ryman Theatre, the home of the original Opry, and the Country Music hall of fame. That took almost the whole day so we spent the night at a local place listen to a few people sing. It is crazy to be out there and hear some of the most amazing voices and know that they will probably never sign a record deal.


We had such a great time just being together, talking about our last year together, and talking about what we have planned for year 3. I couldn't ask for a better weekend with my hubby!

Blog Name Change....

Ok so I am changing my blog name AGAIN! AHH why can't things just work out the way I want them to! HAHA Anyway, I am on the road to 13.1 but it is going to be a VERY long road of recovery from this current injury (stress fracture). Some people believe I am just being a wuss and should suck it up and just run, but the problem here is that they have NOT ever had a stress fracture and don't understand the pain I am in and the consequences of just "sucking it up" and running. So they can talk about me all they want, I am going to be a good little patient and follow the doctors orders of staying of the leg, doing rehab, and training in a different less intense way to prevent injury.

It sucks to not be able to run right now, but in the whole scheme of life this is mediocre for me. I would much rather be able to play and run around with my kids and be healthy then try and run a half marathon and really injury myself. I look forward to the day I can put those running shoes back on and get back into the swing of things, but I am totally ok with not being able to right now. There is so much more to my life than running and I am good with that.

So now we will go back to The Schafer's because there is more going on with that than my journey to a half marathon! Thanks for sticking with all my changes....we are back to rachandschaf.blogspot.com. Please update your links :) Sorry for all the changes, no more I promise!

Two, Two, Two

Matt and I celebrated 2 wonderful years of marriage together on April 11. This past year has been a roller coaster ride but at the end of the ride we are still hand in hand.

We did a lot of fun things in year 2 such as...

• Concerts at Billy Bobs
• Eric and Lindsey Watson's wedding
• Adventures in Fred with the Riley's
• Chris and Amber's wedding in Jamaica!
• Joey and Leslie Blackwell's wedding
• Bachelorette Parites
• Awesome house parties by Alex Gregory
• A 30th birthday in Vegas
• Texas A&M Football Games
• An Engagement
• and many more things I am sure I just can't remember right now
  Some of our memories from the past year

We had a lot of fun in year 2 but we also had some hard times.

We made a very big decision last year to move away from Texas to Kansas to being our life together. This was very hard for the 2 of us and to be quite honest there were times we didn't know if we were going to make it. We both struggled with this decisions, we prayed and prayed, and prayed some more. We screamed and cried and all that stuff and in the end we chose to move. It was very hard on both of us and especial

ly my family. We had to do what we felt was best for us and as hard as it was, I know it was the right decision. This may be more information than I should put on a blog but I want to be real, and letting everyone know that everything is not always hunky dory is important to me. Even though we had a rough few months in the end Matt and I

did what was best for us, and looking back I could not and would not have made this decision without him standing by my side and that is the important piece of all this.

Just Us-TOGETHER

Matt, it has been a great 2 years. I can not see my life without you. We have our ups and downs, but the best part about those are that we are in them TOGETHER. We fight through them TOGETHER, we cry through them TOGETHER, we laugh TOGETHER, we make the hard decisions TOGETHER. You are my best friend, my rock, my shoulder, my voice when I can't speak, my joy and you mean so very much to me. Some times I can't live with you...but I know for sure that I can't live without you! I look forward to what is ahead for us in year 3! It just keeps getting better with you. I love you...forever and a day!

Home Sweet Paxico Home

The Schafer's have moved into their first home...yes that includes Matt, Rachel, Scout, Tiffany, and Rocky. We have been so excited to have our own place for some time and it took a few set backs for us to find this place. Matt loves the outdoors and so he did NOT want a home in a city, or really in a subdivision at all, but was willing to if that was all we could find. One day he stumbled across this house in Paxico, KS which is centrally located between Manhattan and Topeka, and he just knew it was the one. We looked at the next day and it was a done deal. We negotiated and got the house and the rest was history. A little painting had to be done, but his dad graciously did that for us while we were at work. There is still a lot that needs to be done but for the most part it is together. So here it is....

Starting from the top I will walk you through our house...

1. Standing in the drive way looking at the house

2. As you walk through the front door there is a set of stairs leading you up to the main floor or down to the basement area

3. At the top of the stairs you will see the wide open kitchen, one side has the oven and fridge

4. The other side of the kitchen is the sink and dishwasher. Matt has plans for this area such as a bar top or island...we can't decide

5. You can stand in the kitchen to view the living room

6. Our entertainment center

7. Standing in the hallway to your left is our bedroom.

8. In one corner of the room looking towards our bathroom

9. In the other corner of the room looking towards the hallway. It has 2 closets....yep one for me (the bigger one) and one for Matt.

10. Our bathroom

11. This is the first guest room located across from our room. Please disregard the mess it is the storage room at the moment, but will be an office/craft room.

12. The second guest room just down the hall.

13. Guest bathroom

14. Downstairs room. It is a long room which we don't know what we will do with. Maybe a second entertainment area or media room.

15. bathroom downstairs which is also the laundry room

16-19. Our wonderful view off the front and back porches. I can't wait for those nice spring and summer days spending time with friends and family enjoying this view!

So that is a tour of our house...feel free to come for a visit anytime. I can't promise it will be in perfect shape but I can promise you will have fun!

So much to blog about!

I have so much to blog about just not enough time. Since we just moved into a new house (yep need to blog about that) we don't have internet yet so I am struggling to find time to blog! I hope to get back to blogging again soon because well...we have a new house, we just celebrated 2yrs of wedding bliss, the aggie women's basketball team won the ncaa championship, we spent the weekend in Nashville, and I am on crutches! Yep I think that sums it up. Stay tuned for the next installment...the new house.

We are headed to the CHAMPIONSHIP!

Disclaimer: I did not edit this at all because I wanted it to be my true emotions of how I feel, so it might be all over the place and some of it might not make sense but it is what is going through my head and heart right now.

I am over the moon with excitement for the Aggie Women's basketball team. They beat Stanford last night in the final four to make their way to the Championship game agains Notre Dame on Tuesday night! This is the first time in school history that the women's team has made it to the Championship game. It has been a crazy season but in the end the women have proved themselves again to make it to where they are. They fought hard last night against a great team and it came down to the final seconds.

There are a lot of haters out there and I am trying really hard not to pay too much attention to them. I had no idea how many people hated A&M. It is hard for me to see some of the post on facebook about how they don't deserve to be where they are and that A&M sucks and is the most hated team in the Big 12. There is so much more that people are saying and it truly breaks my heart. I am sure there are A&M fans that are just as bad as everyone else but for me I try my best to support every big 12 team when they have made it to something like this. In 2005 I was so happy for the Lady Bears. They fought hard and won the national championship and I could not have been more proud of them. Yeah I was jealousy that A&M was not good enough to be there but I was still happy for them when they won and never would have said they didn't deserve it.

If someone could tell me why there are so many Baylor fans that HATE A&M so much it might make things easier or it might not. I guess I just don't understand why their hatred is so strong to say the things that I have seen being said. I am a HUGE A&M fan and that is no secret and I do enjoy the rivalry stuff between the teams but what I don't like is the name calling, saying they don't deserve what they have achieved, calling aggies stupid and dumb for their traditions and being just down right mean.

Tuesday night will be a big night for this Aggie and I really hope that people can put aside their differences and cheer on the Aggie Women! What a year it has been for them.

No training=Unhappy Rachel

So I have not blogged in a while due to the lack of training I have been doing. This makes me a very sad person but I know in the end the down time will be worth being healthy...or at least that is what I keep telling myself.

So I have been in physical therapy for about 3 weeks now and have been making progress...so we thought. The first 2 weeks were tough and I was still having pain in my left knee but it was getting better. We did stretches, exercises, icing and stem therapy (oh how I love stem therapy!) For the first week I rode a stationary bike for 15-20 minutes and let me tell you how much I hated every moment. I hated it because for someone that had been putting in 10-15miles a week going to just exercises for 20mins didn't even seem worth it. But I was a good little injured girl and did what Chad told me to do :) The next week I was able to put some weight on my legs and moved to the elliptical. Aww this was kinda like running so it made me happy. So far still just a little pain but not at all like I was having before. Chad thought I could ease myself into running last weekend and I was overjoyed with the news. I could not WAIT to get my shoes laced up and get back on the road. As much as I wanted to just go after it I followed instructions to do 5 min jog, 1 min walk for 20 mins. And... it went very bad!

First 5 min jog was good, my legs were getting loosened up and I didn't have much pain in my knee so I thought "oh this is awesome, I am getting it back" then the next 5 mins came and there was the lovely pain I remember! Not only was I having pain in my left knee my lower right leg was so tight and felt like someone had wrapped a thousand rubber bands around the bottom of my knee. The pain just kept shooting down the back of my leg. Oh no was my first thought, then my second was "I bet my legs are just sore from not running and I just need to loosen them up." So naturally I kept going...can you see my competitive side...or stupid side I don't know which. Anyway, I made it back to the house and iced my legs and did the exercises I was told to do and went on about my day. My legs were tight and I was having some pain in my left knee but I was able to push through it.

Monday I tried again...and I failed miserably! I could barely walk to get back to my office and when I got there I just broke down in tears. I was so upset and in so much pain. I didn't know what to do. I didn't have PT that day but thought about going in anyway to see if they could help, but I didn't. Chad called me on tuesday before my appt to check in because he was not going to be there when I got there and I broke down in tears again. Told him all about my weekend and he just listened and didn't even laugh! He told me he would call Dr. Chase and get me in right away because something was wrong and we needed it looked at. So Thursday came along and I hobbled over to see Dr. Chase and he confirmed that I have patellae tendinitis in my left knee! Great I thought, but he said it is not a big deal, just do some different rehad, some strength training and get a patellae band and I would be back on my feet soon. As for the right leg below is our conversation...

DC-"I don't want to assume anything but I am going to put this out there...I guess on Saturday you didn't exactly take things slow as in slow jog did you? I bet you went at your normal pace and pushed through the pain."

ME-(laughing)"why would you think I would do something like that??"

DC-with a very scowler gaze"Rachel, you HAVE to think back to when you just started this journey and remember the time you put in. You can't just pick it back up or you will do what you did and stain your calf muscle. You are lucky you didn't tear anything."

ME-(no longer laughing)-"I know, I am sorry. I will start slower next time, and work through recovery and not try to get back in so soon."

We shook hands and it's all good..I think. So I am back to PT, starting a strength training regiment with a personal trainer, and trying to get healthy. That is the running update...stay tuned for an actually Schafer family update soon!

Set back...set back...set back

*If you don't want to hear about my horrible running lately you might want to skip this post. I am logging all my feelings because I am hoping that at some point I will be able to look at what all I had to overcome to achieve my goals, including the very depressing times...which is where I am right now.*

This is all that is running through my head and it stinks! Every time I get excited about something I have done...like 6 miles then something else just hits me like a tons of bricks to bring me back down. I can't wait to have happy post! I am sorry for being such a downer lately but my knee trouble is really making things hard for me.

Saturday I went out excited to get another 6 under my belt and it was AWFUL! About 1/2mile in my legs would barely leave the ground and I thought I was just scooting along the road. I didn't think 6 would ever come or if I was even going to make it. Pretty sure about mile 3 I was near tears because I was so frustrated! Oh well, I finished and that is what matters.

Not 30 mins after thought I felt like I couldn't walk. My knee hurt so bad that I could barely put any weight on my foot without cringing in pain. I took alleve, iced it and everything and the pain was excruciating. I just laid in bed the rest of the night. Sunday morning I woke up and tried to walk and couldn't. My knee was not swollen or bruised so I just figured it was tight and would loosen up, it never did and when my husband had to help me up the stairs he said that was it and took me to the ER. I was certain I had torn something, but in the end it looks like nothing. The NP told me that this is common in female runners and there isn't much that can be done besides, rest, ice, pain reliever and some PT. I just can't seem to get the motivation now to keep going, I feel like this isn't for me and I should have NEVER set these types of goals. Who am I kidding, me really running 13.1 miles! Ha it seems like such a joke now when I can barely walk without pain, much less even think about training. Ugh I hate this!

Oh the joy

of running! I totally love it, I just don't like the pain that follows some times. So I have been having some knee pain lately and kept putting of going to the doctor for a couple reason, 1)I am stubborn like my dad and think it will just go away, 2) I didn't want to doctor to tell me to stop running because that would have made me SUPER upset and I probably would have cried, 3)I thought I was a tough girl and could deal with it. Well I caved and went to an Orthopedic yesterday, and made a fool of myself by telling him he was my new best friend because....HE TOLD ME I COULD STILL RUN!!!! I was so excited I wanted to jump off the table and give him a big hug, but I didn't. He would have been totally funny if I did though. HAHA

And my friend Suzy was so awesome because she was waiting for me when I got to the doc that morning to make sure I was ok. Having such great running buddies is totally AWESOME! Thank you Suzy!

So anyway, I don't have major problems in my knee just some inflammation or something like that. He didn't do an MRI just an X-ray because he didn't feel like I needed it yet but if it gets worse we will have to do that. He told me that I have plenty of space between my joints around my knee cap except for 1 area but the tissues was healthy so he didn't want to mess with it right now. That was great news! So now I just have to do some PT to strengthen my muscles...umm what I am not that strong??? Whoa what a blow to the ego :) and then ice after every run and take alleve everyday until the pain goes away. I am one happy runner knowing that I can still go out and do crazy things like run 13.1 miles in a few weeks!

Sometimes I just want to give up....

May 1 seems so far away but at the same time so close. I look at the training plan and think "I can totally do this" then I get out and can barely run 3 miles and I think totally different. I am following the marathon rookie plan and just finished week 3. On Monday I had 3 miles on my agenda so I headed to the gym to get it done. My legs were so tight that I didn't think there was anyway I was going to finish. Then I did a spin class which went well so it boosted my confidence a little. On Wednesday I went for a lunch time 4 miler with my friend Suzy and I was SO slow! I couldn't get going, I felt like I was going to have to stop the whole time. I just wanted to cry. I can't understand how I can run 5 miles at a 10min mile pace one day then barely break 11min on 4 miles a few days later. It was such a blow to my self esteem I wanted to just stop. Then the weather was pretty crap Thursday and Friday that I didn't get my run in, so I went Saturday with a friend and we went 3 miles. It was nice for me just to go and not think about anything and just run but the pace was still slower than I had hoped.

Sunday was a big deal for me. I went to Lawrence to meet a friend to do a 6miler. I was very worried about slowing Jaime down because I was not feeling very well but I still went out and did it. She kept telling me to not worry about it but it is still hard to know that someone is going at your pace when they can go faster. I know that it is important to get the miles in I just hate that I can't seem to keep the pace I have been at. Oh well I guess I am just being a baby. I should probably just be happy that I ran 6 miles and not worry that I did it in over and hour. UGH this is so frustrating sometimes.

Changing things up a bit...

After lots of thinking I have changed the name and focus of my blog. I will still write about things going on with Matt and I but my main focus now is going to my journey to a half marathon and then a full one as well. I don't want to forget (although I doubt I would even if I didn't blog about it) about the highs and the lows of training. I think it is important to experience it all and I want to look back on this blog when I finish that 26.2 miles and see how far I have come. So stay tuned and get ready because it will be a long and bumpy ride :)

Valentine's Day...blah

I am not a big fan of Valentine's day...never really have been. It's not like I have had a bad experience or that I am not loved it's just that I don 't like that people use this one day to show someone they love them. I understand not ALL people do this but most of the time it is the case. Men spend a lot of money on flowers, chocolates, gifts, a fancy dinner and more today just to say I love you. Why not use that money throughout the year??? I guess I just don't get it. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy seeing all the love that is involved in today I just don't understand why people can't be this way all the time.

Matt and I don't celebrate Valentine's Day...lucky him :) Truly it has nothing to do with me not liking love or gifts it is that we celebrate our love through out the year. He is wonderful at sending me flowers "just because", taking me on a date, letting me know that he loves me and he doesn't need a special day for that. I am not knocking or trying to bring down anyone that LOVES Valentine's Day this is just how I feel.

Although with all that said, I still take today and look at my relationship with Matt and I am so thankful he is my husband. Today more than ever I need him, I love him, and treasure him. With the roller coaster of emotions I have been on lately, he has always been my firm ground. When I broke down in tears last night and couldn't tell him why, he just held me and told me he loved me, and he supported me NO MATTER WHAT! He didn't even know that is what I needed to hear at that moment but it was. When I back off and shut down my heart to everyone else in my life, he stills pushes against the wall to knock it down. When I tell him he deserves better, he looks me in the eyes and tells me I am the best thing on this earth and he could not imagine his life without me, and he means it. When I am bitchy (which has been often lately), he just listens and still tells me he loves me. And when I am hurting and can't smile he knows just what to say to make me laugh. When times get hard he will do something that reminds me of why I love him so much. So even though I am not a big fan of today, I will take the time to let Matt know that he is everything to me, he is my best friend, my firm ground when it seems like I am on a constant roller coaster, my voice when I can't speak and so much more. I love you more today than ever and I look forward to many more years with you...with or without celebrating Valentine's Day.

The beginning of a beautiful friendship...

with RUNNING! I know it sounds crazy but I have found something I love to do and it all started with this race. So I started the Couch to 5K (C25K) back in december not knowing if I could complete it, but with 1 week to spare on the training I did it! The program is a 9 week program and I did my 5K on week 8. It was awesome! I have not had a chance to upload pictures yet, but will do that soon. Below is my day...

Groundhog 5/10K Run-Kansas City.

The weekend started out great. My wonderful friend Suzy picked me up and we headed to Kansas City. We made a stop at the Nike and Adidas store at the Legends Mall and to the surprise of Matt I didn't buy anything :) We headed to Russ and Jamie's house to pick up our packets and a few hours later were still there! It was great to meet both of them and hear their amazing weight loss stories. I am so happy to have 2 more friends to share memories with. We went to Suzy's friends' house for dinner and sleep time. Suzy was very excited and I kinda felt bad because I typically keep everything inside so I might have not seemed as nervous or excited as I actually was. We went to sleep after figuring out what to wear (yes we contemplated for about an hour what we would wear to the race, haha) and then it was a restless night of sleep. I was more nervous than I thought and kept having crazy dreams about going the wrong way and all that fun stuff.

Well 6am rolled around and I was up and ready to head to the tunnels...yes tunnels. The whole race was underground! We headed back to Russ and Jamie's house for breakfast and more race talk and then headed to the race. The closer we got the more nervous I was.

Once we were there we ran into Scott another member of Thunder Road Racing, which you should check out the blog, it's awesome! So anyways, I was beginning to get nervous but as usually I didn't show it. I don't know why I keep my excitement and nervousness inside but I do. Suzy and I headed to the starting line and it hit me, the excitement, the nervousness and the fear. I was so afraid I was going to let Suzy down, and myself down. Well we lined up, sang the national anthem (which gave me major goosebumps) and then we were off!

I had a time goal of under 30:00min. Getting out of the start was a little tricky trying to find some room to run, but I finally found my open spot and got my pace going. Mile 1 right on track with a little time to spare. It is heating up down in the tunnels especially since I was used to running outside in below 30 degrees! So mile 2 I slowed down a bit to try and make sure I had the energy to kick it in mile 3...well that didn't happen. My pace was not too much off my time but I had a little snag...we got to the last turn down towards the home stretch and the volunteer said we had a mile left, so I checked my watch...dang it I wasn't going to make my time! I was so discouraged and I hit a brick wall. Next thing I see is a girl puking and that just made my stomach turn...another brick wall. So anyways, I start to kick it in thinking I still have some time and then I look around the corner and there it was....the finish line! The girl told us wrong and I was so mad. Had I know it was only a half mile and not a mile I would have started speeding up then instead of coasting through. Oh well, lesson learned.

Final cross the finish line at 30:24! Dang you 24 seconds! I will get you next time. I am super happy with my time though. I ran the whole thing, non-stop and there is NO WAY I would have been able to do that 8 weeks ago. I was 52/179 in my age group. I can't thank Suzy enough for the inspiration and the ability to meet some wonderful new friends. I can't wait for the next races and to be apart of such a wonderful group of people!

Next up...St. Patty's Day 10K, Lincoln, NE half marathon, and Chicago Full marathon! And some small races in between. I love this new friendship I have made!!!